Nancy posted about families with one kid that causes more problems than the rest and I have my own two cents worth as I do agree with her 100%

A parent simply can’t treat all kids the same way, can’t be fair all the time to all the kids. In our family some kids have earned more privileges than others just as some have lost more. That’s how the world functions.

I have a 20 year old who lost his driver’s license for six months and another 20 year old who didn’t because he paid for his ticket and didn’t miss his court date. That’s the way the world functions.

I... more

An Outdoor Wilderness Program teaches an inordinate amount of skills that are necessary for life. When one adopts older children, one then parents kids who may not even have learned basic hygiene, zero life skills, and often have an inability to make simple decisions or choices.

I had one son years ago, be way too emotionally disturbed to function, much less excel at a wilderness program. He’d been sent there by our county’s mental health organization and within five months, at age 11, he was kicked out, eventually he spent... more

My seven year old son told me to look at the TV last night. “Mom, it looks like that guy’s dad is sitting next to a pile of tires in the house.” He was referring to Shaquille O’Neal and some white kid in his new show.

I replied, “Honey, that’s not his dad, that’s Shaq,” and I went on to explain who he was in the NBA.

I’m struck by the fact that my son just assumed that was the father because my family is comprised... more

I’ve had a lot of emails from other frustrated adoptive parents, many are complaining about a lack of available out-of-home placements in their area, leaving these exhausted parents to try and keep their families safe while managing out-of-control behaviors in disturbed children.

Bluntly put, there are some children who can not, should not live at home and this doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents failed to parent. Don’t condemn yourselves; there are plenty of others who’ll... more

Eight of my middle school children have gone to church camp, leaving me rattling around the house with my nine younger children, ages 4-11. I have a good many older kids and tonight we are going out.

Our town has a dollar theater and we’re going to see a silly movie, Blades of Glory, just so we can laugh off some of the stress of our lives lately.

It’s not often that we get a chance like this, usually we have a heavy soccer schedule, or I just can’t get out the door what with all the... more

Seventeen years ago I picked up the phone to call my new kids. They were living in a foster home in Texas after an adoption disruption that had devastated them. I was excited about adding new children to our family; they were, of course, non-responsive and verbally non-committal. I drew out a few words from each child, then 6, 8, 11 and 12, hanging up the phone I still felt I could win them over with my love for them, not having a single clue how hard it would be tested for the next decade. I was 35 years old; I’d been a mama for 16 years by then, MAPP... more

Our church was packed today. The middle of the summer, a sweltering 95 degrees, people vacationing in the mountains, at the lakes and the beaches, yet one could hardly find a parking space at all for second service, first service starting at 8:30 also impressively full.

I won’t even mention our denomination, that’s not the issue. I believe that it boils down to a spiritual hunger; people want to believe in something, they want their world to make sense. Maybe I’m just projecting my own wants and needs but I believe this is what I’m seeing.

Life... more

Possibly I should preface this post with the statement, “Not all of my sons have been involved with the law.”

I am struggling hard with the concept of criminal activity. I have some very angry sons; boys who were adopted later in life, very traumatized, and they are demonstrating a clear inability to follow rules, no matter the consequences.

All of my children came from backgrounds in which there was considerable parental involvement with the police. They learned such erroneous concepts as, “The MAN is out to getcha!” There was no understanding... more

I’ve learned a new word today and I’ve been rolling it off my tongue constantly, excited about the concept as it buzzes right through the world I’ve inhabited all my life.

I have always been an anti-consumerist, a dumpster diver, but I’ve now learned about Fregans who are known as

scavengers of the developed world, living off consumer waste in an effort to minimize their support of corporations and their impact on the planet,... more

My family has severely been tested these past couple of years. I haven’t even written about several of the mind numbing events, it’ll take years until it is less painful than it is right now. I also prefer to wait until situations are resolved and feelings are not so tightly wound.

I have been through the wringer. I just hung up from talking to a grown son, telling him that I’m even more certain now than I was 20 years ago that I’m walking the road that God chose for me. I’m parenting the exact amount of children that I deeply believe were individually... more