The four kids I raised since they were babies had plenty of opportunities to absorb the correct behavior techniques and the little things in life that make one fairly civilized.

My other 35 kids have been more of a challenge. Like who doesn’t know that the shower curtain liner goes inside the tub? I’ve spent years and years railing over this one fact. Duh if you leave it on the outside all the water runs on the floor. I have to replace an entire bathroom floor that has eroded, corroded and flat rotted out after almost 15 years of liquid abuse.

My only RAD daughter... more

Years ago when notebooks came in blue cloth rather than vinyl, I started keeping a garden notebook, it was in the 1970s and I listed all the varieties of seeds I’d tried plus my successes and failures in the garden. I mapped out each raised bed with what I’d planted each year and the date I’d planted each item. I was a total, devoted nerd about it, but I only had one daughter back then.

My gardens kept growing in response to the number of mouths I had to feed. Going from a half a dozen tomato plants to over a hundred this year, realizing I’d only keep us in fresh... more

After going through yet another CPS investigation I feel compelled to speak to others in the same boat. This can and usually will happen in the adoption journeys when one chooses to adopt older, traumatized children.

There are many different scenarios. I have a son still hollering that I am an abuser. He is in a mental institution where I hope and pray he will get the help that he needs. It is short term and we are searching for a long-term solution.

I’ve been on internet support groups and have met many adoptive parents who stress over this possibility.... more

I’m, of course, liking Sandra's old fogey posts lately as I can so relate. This afternoon, talking with our family therapist, trying to make sense of something that was none of my business anyway as an acquaintance has apparently thrown away his career and crapped up his beautiful family…unless the entire story isn’t true in the first place. Often newspapers sensationalize.

But the older I get, the more I appreciate sensible behavior.

I could go all socially conservative or I could simply say that life is easier... more

If I had gone to Haiti and opened an orphanage for 39 children I’m certain that I would receive a great deal of financial support and accolades.

If one chooses to adopt that many children, one is viewed as odd. There must be something wrong with this person. No sane person would choose to devote their life to traumatized children. Let’s investigate this person.

I’m just about tired of that reaction to my family.

Just because others cannot imagine having to do this, to live like this 24-7, doesn’t mean that it is a life not worth living.

If... more

My love for baseball springs from many factors, not the least of which involves the statistics. Everything is measurable and in my vague, esoteric existence where sometimes the disturbed children seem to be the ones taken seriously as opposed to the educated, experienced parent, I crave something very concrete to sink my teeth into.

Reading my almost 13 year old son’s latest psychological evaluation, the fourth in six years, all testers seem to... more

My recent high school graduate daughter has been taking classes to increase her entrance scores that she needs for a local college. She put in 110 percent effort on every single day off from work but she didn’t get it all done in time, she didn’t make her own self-imposed goal. Am I disappointed in her?

Not at all, rather I’m proud of her. I’ve taught my children that we all learn as much from failing as we do from winning. I failed at several personal goals this summer. I didn’t weed a bucket a day from... more

“Since the time I was sent to elementary school, my feet have marched to the beat of a different drummer than Everybody Else’s. The difference caused me much grief as a child; much success as an adult.”

As usual, this is not an original thought of mine but I read it today in this book, nodding my head in absolute agreement.

I think I know what other girls thought about as they talked about it as well. I never dreamed about getting married and having kids even though I eventually did both, and more than once each.

I dreamed about... more

I feel as if I’ve been dragged behind a speeding jet readying itself for takeoff…only to be dropped from the sky and hit by an 18 wheeler. Standing back up, an eagle must have swooped down and swiped my head, but hey I’m still standing.

In our month long ordeal, an emotional drought if you will, as others pointed fingers at my entire family while an amazing amount of friends, counselors and therapists rallied, we finally realized August was over and we’d made it.

Stronger than ever, totally banged up and disillusioned, yet more emotionally attached to each other,... more

“I was distracted by Kyra Sedgwick’s red lipstick. I wrote to the show to complain-and sure enough, she changed shades.”

I just read this statement in last week’s Parade Magazine and nearly fell off my chair in disbelief. People notice lipstick colors? They write to shows to complain? Have I veered so far off the path of normal? Or did they?

I thumbed the pages, wondering if I have truly crossed the line into a nether world where children’s issues and challenges so dominate my life. Is this what normal people care about? Should I just lose faith... more