Clearly I know very little about raising traumatized children. I am flying by the seat of my pants with my 39 kids. It isn’t easy, there are no instruction manuals, and I need a lot of outside help.

I’m not afraid either to fail or to make mistakes. It takes an ability to do both. It takes my own willingness to discard my great ideas that didn’t work and to move on to those that do. Or to just continue trying to discover those that do.

I’ll meet tomorrow with a new psychiatrist that has joined the psychologists group that I’ve been using for... more

“What do I do? It seems like that instead of being appreciated for taking on kids no one wants, I get looked down on like I'm at fault for doing the best I can with no help. I'm happy to be his mom, to stick with him no matter what, to be supportive, hold him accountable, whatever it takes, but I don't know what to do with him now, not even while I'm looking for help. If you, or some of the other adoptive parents out there, who have been there and done this, have got some advice or suggestions…”

I often receive emails from acutely distressed parents... more

Continued From Here I walked away from the blowout that would continue with or without me, and I held my crying 11 year old son for 30 minutes until he calmed down. He let me hug him, progress from a porcupine. I’ve spent so many years tending to the destructive, raging kids who may or may not ever improve, that I feel guilty about the good kids losing out on the needed, deserved attention. I went straight to him, the one who gets good grades and is trying so hard to learn... more

Sometimes I can hardly sleep at night due to my advanced age of 53 and the long laundry list permeating my mind of issues and challenges that do ping pong way worse in the minds of my children. I think I’m struggling? Try being any one of my children.

My 21 year old son’s issues have been detailed in his driver’s license shenanigans, he is driving a 20 year old truck, found a job the first day he looked because he wisely chose not to return home until he’d accomplished his mission, fights with himself every single day to manage his earnings,... more

I thought I could calm down by now, blogging on my personal blog about a youtube video someone had sent me. It was a San Antonio news special detailing the use of psychotropic drugs in the Texas foster care system, something I’m very well acquainted with having adopted five large sibling groups from Texas over nearly a twenty year time period.

Julie also recently explored this area of... more

There’s was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children…oh sorry, wrong story, today I need to concentrate on back to school shoes for everyone.

One of my pet peeves around here is kicking off one’s shoes and leaving them there; imagine the pile when there are twenty something kids living at home. I can’t hardly walk through the family room without hollering, “Git these dadgum shoes outta my way,” while the kids look at me like I’m over-reacting. (I’m not misspelling, I talk like that.)

I do buy everyone a nice, clean... more

Of my four seriously unemployed/underemployed grown children between the ages of 20-31, one of them immediately managed to find a full-time job yesterday afternoon that needed him to start immediately, somewhat shaming the other three? Not around here.

The other three don’t want to mow lawns all day or settle for less than what they think they should earn yet they’re earning nothing right now.

One in particular who had his panties in a wad over his recent firing, doesn’t think to discuss a plan, to make a plan, or even to check on who is now hiring.... more

Underemployed

Yesterday I’d fussed over my now-unemployed 20 year old, but he’s not the only one here in these straits. I also have a 25 year old Navy veteran; off of a ship from the Iraq War, what’s he going to do? He's pictured here with his birth sister, both adopted 17 years ago.

The Navy warned the shipmates that this would happen; they’d return home and start hanging out with their friends who’d never left, hadn’t done much to advance themselves and they’d end up wishing they hadn’t left the military and that is exactly what has happened... more

My 20 year old son just lost his job this morning. He had brutal hours, a 45 minute drive at 5 in the morning for a 6 a.m. shift, never home until after 5 each evening but it was a well paying job for a kid just out of high school.

This son has only been living with me for seven years, arriving at age 13, parentified and caring for his six younger siblings; he’d never really been a child at all. Now secure in his family here, he has emotionally progressed to about the age of seven. He’s short-sighted, often unable to understand the big... more

One reason that I rarely leave my dirt road, especially during summer, is that I can’t find a babysitter, nor would I want to do so. How much would a qualified caretaker charge for the 20 or so kids that are here? I almost never, ever leave my house unless my 33 year old daughter or my 27 year old daughter is here. Very rarely I’ll allow a 16 or an 18 year old daughter to baby-sit some of the kids, but almost never more than just a few. I’d never consider a stranger; my strong-willed kids would eat them for dinner.

The bottom line is that I am responsible... more