One of the biggest battles in our home involves consequences. A local teacher in our area, lowered a kid’s grade for sleeping in class, a consequence I’d certainly approve of, but the teacher was not backed by the principal, a conflict ensued, a law was enacted and the teacher changed schools.

I spent 25 years in the public school system and learned about many, many parents who would back up their chronically misbehaving... more

I’ve written a good bit about the successes of my older children after many years of problems and challenges and I sure don’t mean to imply that all is well eventually. I am still shocked and saddened, feeling like I’ve done a poor job of parenting, taking it all too personally when one of them, in their twenties, still acts as if they don’t have good sense, still making poor choices.

Poor choices: A polite phrase for some of the most ill-conceived ideas I’ve ever seen, did none of y’all listen either in school or in church when basic morals were taught? If you do this, then that will occur. Every action has a result or a consequence, what were you thinking? Did you not learn... more

Nancy posted about families with one kid that causes more problems than the rest and I have my own two cents worth as I do agree with her 100%

A parent simply can’t treat all kids the same way, can’t be fair all the time to all the kids. In our family some kids have earned more privileges than others just as some have lost more. That’s how the world functions.

I have a 20 year old who lost his driver’s license for six months and another 20 year old who didn’t because he paid for his ticket and didn’t miss his court date. That’s the way the world functions.

I... more

An Outdoor Wilderness Program teaches an inordinate amount of skills that are necessary for life. When one adopts older children, one then parents kids who may not even have learned basic hygiene, zero life skills, and often have an inability to make simple decisions or choices.

I had one son years ago, be way too emotionally disturbed to function, much less excel at a wilderness program. He’d been sent there by our county’s mental health organization and within five months, at age 11, he was kicked out, eventually he spent... more

My seven year old son told me to look at the TV last night. “Mom, it looks like that guy’s dad is sitting next to a pile of tires in the house.” He was referring to Shaquille O’Neal and some white kid in his new show.

I replied, “Honey, that’s not his dad, that’s Shaq,” and I went on to explain who he was in the NBA.

I’m struck by the fact that my son just assumed that was the father because my family is comprised... more

I’ve had a lot of emails from other frustrated adoptive parents, many are complaining about a lack of available out-of-home placements in their area, leaving these exhausted parents to try and keep their families safe while managing out-of-control behaviors in disturbed children.

Bluntly put, there are some children who can not, should not live at home and this doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents failed to parent. Don’t condemn yourselves; there are plenty of others who’ll... more

I don’t meet many new people nor do I go many new places. My presence at home is absolutely and constantly demanded by my 39 children. I have too much to get done each day anyway, I need and I want to be home.

Yesterday on one of my few excursions out I met a lady who’d seen us at church. “Please forgive my nosiness; I’m just so curious about your family. Where are they all from?”

“Texas,” I’d replied, hoping to avert questions, trying to be sweet and polite, but my mind was elsewhere. Our church was hosting a summer supper and she invited... more

Brothers since they were 2 and 4, now they are 11 and 13, closer than ever. Both are even-tempered, easy going, fun loving guys who’ve been great sons and good role models here within our family.

The one on the left joined our family eight or so years ago along with his very troubled siblings. Maybe he intuitively sensed their issues, but he immediately bonded with the one on the right who is a grandson that I’ve adopted and am raising. They share clothes, a room, and all their thoughts with each other.

They’d had one of their rare squabbles... more

I was talking over my own criminal tendencies post with one of my older daughters, reiterating that I was still dumbfounded to have to consider that all of my children came from backgrounds in which their birth parents participated in criminal activities.

My daughter reminded me of what I already knew but didn’t usually dwell on, the fact that my children were usually asked, forced or coerced into participating as well. Her sibling group came... more

Possibly I should preface this post with the statement, “Not all of my sons have been involved with the law.”

I am struggling hard with the concept of criminal activity. I have some very angry sons; boys who were adopted later in life, very traumatized, and they are demonstrating a clear inability to follow rules, no matter the consequences.

All of my children came from backgrounds in which there was considerable parental involvement with the police. They learned such erroneous concepts as, “The MAN is out to getcha!” There was no understanding... more