I’ve belched out my frustrations so often lately that I’m wondering if I have any good kids. I do, I really do. The majority of my children are awesome and those that aren’t, wish they were, they just can’t help some of their behaviors.

My 20 year old son spent most of his day today driving me to grocery stores and getting a Christmas tree with me. He could have been out with any one of his girlfriends but he chose Mama. He needs our time together as much as I do. He needs quiet reassurance that he’s still my kid after growing up and moving out. He’d only had a mother for... more

Bipette asks, “How do you manage to love the kids and yet keep your own boundaries up enough that you aren't constantly riding the roller coasters these kids are on?” I went to bed last night with this question in my head, struggling to find the answer.

What are boundaries? If I don’t know, then I suppose I can’t keep my own boundaries up enough. Maybe I lost the right to boundaries when I chose to adopt older children? I am very enmeshed in my children’s issues as they affect every... more

My recent high school graduate daughter has been taking classes to increase her entrance scores that she needs for a local college. She put in 110 percent effort on every single day off from work but she didn’t get it all done in time, she didn’t make her own self-imposed goal. Am I disappointed in her?

Not at all, rather I’m proud of her. I’ve taught my children that we all learn as much from failing as we do from winning. I failed at several personal goals this summer. I didn’t weed a bucket a day from... more

Clearly I know very little about raising traumatized children. I am flying by the seat of my pants with my 39 kids. It isn’t easy, there are no instruction manuals, and I need a lot of outside help.

I’m not afraid either to fail or to make mistakes. It takes an ability to do both. It takes my own willingness to discard my great ideas that didn’t work and to move on to those that do. Or to just continue trying to discover those that do.

I’ll meet tomorrow with a new psychiatrist that has joined the psychologists group that I’ve been using for... more

It’s not lost on me that some people might be overwhelmed by the needs and demands of parenting 39 children. I have, not for a minute, ever regretted this choice in my life. I have railed loudly over the damage done to my darlings before I adopted them, I have been massively frustrated by their obstinacy and defiance, and I have cried buckets of tears at times when I’ve watched them make horrible decisions,

I don’t mind the non-stop work, although yesterday afternoon I had a little foot stomping, voice raising mini-explosion over a six foot high pile of clean laundry that no one... more

If there is one thing I constantly try to over-do, it is in the area of encouragement to children once living in utter discouragement.

The first time, in 1991, that I met one of my darling daughters was in her foster mother’s house in Texas, at the 6th birthday of her baby brother. She, then age 11, ran to her room to show me the A that she’d earned on a fifth grade report she’d written about Russia. I complimented her; of course, encouraged to be adopting a grade-grubber,... more

Eight of my middle school children have gone to church camp, leaving me rattling around the house with my nine younger children, ages 4-11. I have a good many older kids and tonight we are going out.

Our town has a dollar theater and we’re going to see a silly movie, Blades of Glory, just so we can laugh off some of the stress of our lives lately.

It’s not often that we get a chance like this, usually we have a heavy soccer schedule, or I just can’t get out the door what with all the... more

Our church was packed today. The middle of the summer, a sweltering 95 degrees, people vacationing in the mountains, at the lakes and the beaches, yet one could hardly find a parking space at all for second service, first service starting at 8:30 also impressively full.

I won’t even mention our denomination, that’s not the issue. I believe that it boils down to a spiritual hunger; people want to believe in something, they want their world to make sense. Maybe I’m just projecting my own wants and needs but I believe this is what I’m seeing.

Life... more

At one point in my life, before I had this many children, I contemplated reviewing books for a living, or at least a sideline job. I’d done so for a literary magazine at one point, non-fiction young adult books that I thoroughly enjoyed. I’ve had other opportunities, also which evolved into different open doors to traverse and my life has taken me here as the mom of 39 children.

I used to read a great deal, not having a TV when my oldest daughter was a child, and of course no internet as it wasn’t invented then. I was a school library media specialist... more

Piggybacking once again on yesterday’s post, I often do so as my mind tends to ruminate on something for eons, always trying to figure out The Answer, seldom actually doing so.

I have a daughter, now 18, who has just graduated from high school. Like her older brother, having only lived in a stable family for seven years, somewhat reluctant to grow up, she's feeling gypped over such a short childhood.

I have a niece also graduating, full of college... more