My almost 17 year old daughter, the one who ran away last week and is now serving out her restrictions, fights against herself. Give her a taste of success and she’ll sabotage it, deeply convinced that it is undeserved. Left unsaid by her is, “If I deserved good things, my birth mother wouldn’t have left me,” simplistic yes but, more so, very primal and the root of my children’s inner pain.

Slowly she’s learning that good things can and do happen to her. She’d been taken out of school, by me, for excessive fist-fighting. I home schooled her for the... more

Almost 20 years ago I was 32 years old, excitedly heading down to Honduras to adopt my first sibling group of daughters. I had no idea they’d be the first of many brothers and sisters to join our family, I just knew that I was very certain, in my heart, that this was exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

I’d Xeroxed an article, July 1988, from Success magazine entitled, “The Myth of the Balanced Life: Happiness is a Hotly Pursued Obsession,” written in response to a New York Times writer who’d interviewed... more

To say that I garden is an understatement. I have huge gardens and a houseful of hundreds of houseplants. I find this endeavor to be both soothing as well as therapeutic. Last night after playing lifeguard at the pool for several hours, something I do everyday with my children, I headed out back, clippers in one hand, seeds in another, searching for bare patches in which to squeeze in more cantaloupes or zucchini, my choice of this day.

This is my passion and I’m obsessed with it, I love scrambling in the dirt, hauling wood chips or manure, turning... more

I often fight cynicism, trying to replace it with optimism. After 20 years in the adoption world, particularly on the treacherous path I’ve chosen, that of the adoption of older children where the pains seem deeper but the rewards even greater, sometimes I encounter a story that knocks my socks right off my big feet.

There’s a couple, John and Libby Moritz, who lost their three young children in a car accident. They were coming home from school and instantly killed.

There... more

It’d be nice if I could brag that I started each day with physical exercise but I’d be lying. I get physical exercise all day chasing after 39 kids and 14 grandchildren, cooking around here is aerobic.

I do seek out mental pump-it-ups each morning. I receive John Maxwell’s emails on leadership regularly and I soak them up eagerly.

I’m asked if I ever get discouraged since I seem to put on such a happy face. Sometimes I think the world is determined to slap that silly smile off my face... more

If anyone ever asked me what I believed the most important thing needed in the adoption of older children, I wouldn’t even hesitate to spout off one word.

Attitude.

Attitude is everything.

It’s crushingly hard to maintain a positive attitude at times when one wants to rail at God for even thinking anyone could handle such oppositional, challenging children. But then I always step back with an admonition for myself, “Cindy, what are you thinking? You think God made a mistake?”

And I get back on that horse and... more

Being almost 53 years old, still a country woman, my roosters, two of them, wake me up each morning bright and early. 4:55 a.m. my eyes flew open and thoughts of the day rushed through my brain, pumping me up and propelling me out of bed. The other 25 kids still are snoring, two attic fans whirling and bringing in the night air redolent of honeysuckle and gardenias, both blooming right now. I inhaled deeply, gratified to be a gardener.

People don’t much have attic fans anymore, preferring the rarified air of air conditioners. I can’t tolerate the closed... more

“Things I never thought I would have to say before becoming a parent, No. 1101: Stop licking the refrigerator!”

The Atlanta Journal Constitution started this Vent section many, many years ago. I greatly prefer laughing to just about anything else and this section cracks me up constantly. Home of such winners as, “Do wind breakers really break wind?” which once caused me to be unable to hold it together for an entire day back when I still worked in the... more

As I read this article on homeless children, its irony was not lost on me. I have worked myself to the bone, providing a home for children, children who once had no clue about where they’d live, or if they’d be able to remain with their siblings.

Yet this once nice home here, before children with severe destructive tendencies moved in, is also the same home that they choose to run away from in anger, unable and unwilling to face their emotional pain and... more

Am I really this annoyingly over-pumped, opinionated, strong-willed mama of 39?

Yes I am, and I’m grateful that I have an outlet for my dreams, goals, plans and visions. This is what I wanted, I strived to be their mama, it’s not glamorous but neither am I. This is my dream, and I willed it and worked it until I had it.

I also dream for 100% success for them all; either college educated, and/or financially successful, happy and content in their lives. I am nowhere near that goal. I have five college graduates... more