I heard the traffic reporter on the radio today claim that she was too blessed to be stressed. I ran the words through my head over and over until I realized that in spite of my very bad attitude lately over the huge battles I’ve fought in getting mental health services for my kids, I feel the same way.

Just physically making it through each day ought to be indication enough for me, adding in all the other outsides stressors and challenges, but then meeting each one head on, often with a pretty good resolution, reminds me of how blessed I really am overall.

I spent all day today again in my truck moving my seriously disturbed son from a crisis respite center three hours away... more

I’m a little cowed by the fact that several of my children have needed to live somewhere else in out-of-home placements. I could not meet their psychiatric needs within the confines and limitations of our family home. No one but a psychiatric facility with a staff and PRN medications would be able to keep irrational, violent children safe from themselves. The safety of others must also be considered.

This side of life has shocked me in such an abject manner. I would not have knowingly adopted... more

After nearly two months now in two different psychiatric hospital placements, my son was discharged yesterday as they are both considered short term facilities. Even if it is obvious that our family’s safety would be jeopardized by having him come home, it’s basically tough toenails. Deal with it.

I’ve spent eight weeks now, sending emails queries and making phone calls, hunting for the next tenuous solution. I’ve been here before with a significantly disturbed child, two kids of mine actually who have little hope for a good future as their choices are so limited.

I’ve documented all attempts. I’ve found that I have to prove what I’ve tried to do, how many ways in which... more

The Atlanta Journal Constitution had written a series about some terribly sad deaths in Georgia in mental hospitals resulting in a lawsuit and an investigation which unfortunately has made it a million times more difficult to find help for severely disturbed children. This is a painful-to-read series and there's more to each story plus another side.

There are not enough foster homes for troubled adolescents, an... more

I made a huge amount of progress today, so much so that I feel as if I’ve had a stay of execution and in many ways that is true. I’d received another email from a teacher confirming my thoughts and feelings about the damage Jose has done in our home, the constant outbursts, terrible potential for violence, and how he has lately projected his hatred for me onto the other girls in our family. His threats, his attacks and his continuous maladaptive thoughts of ‘killing his mom’ are too alarming to live with each day.

I received a reprieve... more

Y’all might just about be tired of our ongoing saga with seeking mental health resources, but it is why I’ve been unable to post very often lately. My son, Jose, has been out of our home for six weeks now, and even gone, has forced us to go through a CPS investigation which took up even more of my time.

I budget my time carefully. Family comes first, the kids who are trying their best to succeed – I never want to overlook them in my often fruitless efforts to find help for more seriously disturbed children. I have 13 kids who are obsessed with soccer, tying... more

The four kids I raised since they were babies had plenty of opportunities to absorb the correct behavior techniques and the little things in life that make one fairly civilized.

My other 35 kids have been more of a challenge. Like who doesn’t know that the shower curtain liner goes inside the tub? I’ve spent years and years railing over this one fact. Duh if you leave it on the outside all the water runs on the floor. I have to replace an entire bathroom floor that has eroded, corroded and flat rotted out after almost 15 years of liquid abuse.

My only RAD daughter... more

I feel as if I’ve been dragged behind a speeding jet readying itself for takeoff…only to be dropped from the sky and hit by an 18 wheeler. Standing back up, an eagle must have swooped down and swiped my head, but hey I’m still standing.

In our month long ordeal, an emotional drought if you will, as others pointed fingers at my entire family while an amazing amount of friends, counselors and therapists rallied, we finally realized August was over and we’d made it.

Stronger than ever, totally banged up and disillusioned, yet more emotionally attached to each other,... more

If you adopt children with severe emotional issues, mental illnesses or mental disabilities, be expected to walk through fire when you attempt to find help for them.

When it is no longer safe for them to remain at home, when a parent MUST seek an out-of-home placement in order to ensure their safety and that of other family members, it has been my experience, on three diagnosed kids over the last decade, that they will then turn on you.

My other choice would have been to possibly allow a murder to take place. And then if it was not me killed, I would have to face questions such as, “Why did you not seek help? Were these verbal and physical threats? Have you had him in counseling?”

This... more

It’s starting to look quite likely that I may only be able to write my minimum number of posts this month. It’s not a time issue for me as I can blog quickly, rather it is a number of challenges in my home right now that I’d prefer to resolve first.

A big one is criticism and outright condemnation. I’ve finally gotten to my computer after a few days away from it and have caught up on Nancy Spoolstra's recent posts about facing unwarranted blame.

I’m... more