I’m often in the middle of several books, depending on my mood or the events surrounding me. I might prefer a true crime page turner or a garden book. I read less about adoption now, maybe I reached my saturation level but I think I’m finding more help and motivation as I read leadership, coaching and management books.

With a large family such as ours, I’ve found that a mom needs to be a coach and a manager, a leader and a person of influence. I always feel as if I have many irons in the fire, and I need to manage my time so as best to meet everyone’s... more

Several folks have asked me about our birthday situation. Even with 39 children, there’s still me and my parents who live with us, plus 16 grandchildren and seven in-laws, it can mount up.

I hope I never see another sheet cake as long as I live, for so long we’d bake one and slap some candles on it until we all felt we’d barf if I ever served another one. Vanessa, my 17 year old, liked to add an ice cream layer but we weren’t fooling anyone – it was still a sheet cake.

Lately kids have requested ice cream cones instead or Krispy Kreme donuts because... more

The last day of the month of November always seems to be my last free breathing, no stress day before the Christmas season starts.

Believe it or not, I have 39 non-demanding children. Not a one of them stress me out at Christmas, always happy when that day arrives, so obviously my stress is self-imposed. They don’t beg me for stuff nor make outrageous wish lists.

I fear not meeting everyone’s expectations that are so inflated by commercialism, but not demonstrated here. I know that my children, all adopted from the foster care system, have... more

Usually fueled by my passion to get things done, I run around the house after the kids have gone to school. With five more grandchildren – oops, now 6 of them – living here, my house takes a beating.

I can deal with that and I get a sense of accomplishment plowing through my chores and starting dinner early since I cook from scratch.

But today, first thing in the morning I had to deal with a grown up child of mine, 31, and her two year old son. I absolutely lost my patience in a huge way as she’s let a pile of circumstances force her into immobility. ... more

My pictures don’t match my posts in that I may write about one child but show the picture of another. Often I don’t name the child, I’ll give their age as an indicator of the maturity level I should be dealing with, but sometimes I’m talking about their age back then, blurring the lines but protecting their privacy. I'm not talking about my son-in-law pictured here, he's an extremely successful man.

Some of my grown kids are finding out that all the things I dogged them about as teenagers have come to pass.

“I told y’all it was a cold, cruel world out there,” is my favorite... more

I’ve recently had my daughter and her five children move in with us while her husband returns to El Salvador to work on his residency papers. For the last seven years they have lived a mile from us, so my grandchildren are completely comfortable here. Several of my older sons have moved out, now in their late teens and early twenties, and a friend from church sent a crew to renovate an upstairs area that now holds my daughter plus her 12, 10, 8, and 3 year olds and their new baby.

Fortunately her kids didn’t have to change schools or bus routes, their family... more

“My wife and I are beginning to enter into the adoption process. We have decided not to have our own children, but rather we want to adopt many children. Would you recommend getting an infant for the first time? Or are you indifferent?”

I don’t mean to be flippant but I cracked up at his, “Or are you indifferent?” Yep, half the time I’d have to say I am indifferent.

But this is a really good question and one that I’m totally unqualified to answer as I don’t know this couple’s ages or willingness to deal with the severe issues that many of us adoptive parents... more

Bipette asks, “How do you manage to love the kids and yet keep your own boundaries up enough that you aren't constantly riding the roller coasters these kids are on?” I went to bed last night with this question in my head, struggling to find the answer.

What are boundaries? If I don’t know, then I suppose I can’t keep my own boundaries up enough. Maybe I lost the right to boundaries when I chose to adopt older children? I am very enmeshed in my children’s issues as they affect every... more

I have a once very violent, angry son who has been in several lock-ups and therapeutic settings for nearly two years now. Visiting once a month, if he earns his home stay pass, has been pleasant as his homesickness for this family has finally overcome his old reluctance to be a part of anything.

In a month he will transition out of the program, not because he is cured but because they are a nine month program and feel that they’ve done all they can, what with their intensive 24-7 therapeutic environment.

We all agree he is better, but still dangerously unable to control his temper at times.

It is with a great deal of trepidation that I’m agreeing to have him return... more

Reading Nancy Spoolstra’s post on an adoption disruption situation, I was reminded of stepping up years ago and adopting a sibling group after they’d disrupted.

The caseworker had told me that he felt the first parents were totally unprepared for a group of school aged children, their emotional issues and what it would do to their family of three. Within months the new mom was expecting a baby and decided that she simply couldn’t parent a new baby, her birth... more