“I am getting married and my future husband and I have decided that although we are both capable of having kids, we will adopt 2-3 older kids. Problem is, we are not even married yet, and his family is already doing bad remarks about our plans.”

This was a comment I’d received and I’ve thought about it for a few days.

A couple of thoughts here from a woman who has been divorced twice and is obviously not a great choice to answer a marriage question.

That said, marriage and the adoption of older children might be two of the most stressful life events on earth. Combine the two and…OUCH.

My gut feeling is to advise you to enjoy being married first for a few years... more

The two "Thugs" in this picture are really two of the sweetest kids I know. Yes, they can be handfuls. The one on the left is Mark and the one on the right is my Billy. You could say that at times they are almost like adopted family.

Mark wants to be a chef when he gets older. Billy has one of the most amazing abilities to draw I have ever seen in a child. He can free hand pictures of any Hip Hop Artist or person and they look life like.

At the moment they both are just wasting their talents and both have dropped... more

Finding your place in the adoption world is sometimes a difficult decision to make. Making decisions like which agency to use, what type of child you want to adopt, what ages of children you want in your home. Will you adopt from your home state? Will you adopt through Foster Care? Will you seek private adoption? Or will you decide to adopt internationally?

When all those questions have been thought about and answered then there is all the red tape and paper work. So it takes time before you even get to the point of seeing children or meeting placing parents.

In international adoptions passports and medical updates are needed. There are regulations on how long you must... more

An adoptive mother from Atlanta sent me a book she’d written entitled Jack’s New Family: An Older Child Adoption Story by Dee E. Thompson. It’s about a young Russian boy’s thoughts and reflections on leaving Russia, and entering a new family and a new country.

It’s a universal story as I recognized many similarities between his thoughts and the reactions of three of my daughters that came here from Honduras nearly 20 years ago. The emphasis is on older child adoption as much as it is on Russian adoption.

It’s a children’s book, just... more

My almost 30 year old daughter, Cristy, said it best, “There’s no shame in my story.” And she is so correct, what happened to her, happened to her, she was obviously not a willing participant in the circumstances that led her, and her siblings, into the foster care system, nor did she cause nor provoke the sexual abuse that occurred.

At age 12 when she joined our family, she was in terrible shape. Eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, she put us through a decade of Hell. There’s no better word to describe what we... more

There are a few things you can do in order to get your self up off the couch and headed toward your goal of Adoption.

Here they are:

1.) Get on the inter net or grab a telephone book. Check out the adoption agencies in your area or state.

2.) Do not settle for just any agency. Find one that feels right with your personal desires for Adoption. That you feel comfortable with.

3.) Call them today and make an appointment for an interview.

4.) Do not wait and put it off for another day.

5.) Ask questions. How the process works. What benefits they offer your adopted child and family during the adoption and after the adoption is over.

6.)... more

One of the first things that will happen when you begin your paper work and journey to adopt. Will be a home study.

The hone study is when someone will come into your home and expect it for safety and living conditions. So you can cut some time off of your adoption wait by having your home in order.

1.) Make sure electrical out lets are up to date and have covers. 2.) Make sure your sink, toilet and bathtub have both hot and cold running water and are in decent shape. 3.) Make sure the room where your new adopted child will be sleeping is open and has a bed, dresser and contains a homey feeling. A few toys or wall decor would be nice. 4.) Make sure... more

Wow. How exciting is it to know that in a few short months you will be welcoming your child into your home?

There are so many things you want to do to prepare for this big event. With the adoption of an older child there is so much more involved. So much more to think about. Because you will want this child to feel welcome. To feel safe. To know this is a new beginning.

So how do we go about this:

1). Remember to ask questions. You will want to find out everything you can about your child. What they like and dislike. What their favorite foods are. What their favorite colors are. What kinds of games they are used too. So on and so forth.

2). Prepare... more

When you hear the words "Older Child" many of us think of a child that is 5 years old or older. In the world of adoption,it means a child that is not an infant. More like toddler age that has not been adopted yet and then older.

It is often very easy to have children under the age of five come up for adoption. Usually this happens through Foster Care when a child has had the parental rights terminated. Or in foreign countries where there are orphanages that children are placed in at birth and are left there until they are adopted or placed in another home.

International... more

Yep....out there in the mad rush of holiday shoppers. I spotted two friends that I have known for a few years. They were picking out a bunch of stuff that looked like clothing inventory and toys.

I stopped to grab a hug and to wish my friends a happy holiday. When much to my surprise they were out rushing around to pick up some much needed things for a new foster child they were picking up this evening.

I remembered and smiled pleasantly, knowing how they felt. The rush and excitement. The disbelief that sometimes these kids come with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the small fee you get from the agency to purchase things for them...is far from what it costs.... more