My issues with blame.

Wow I was a stay at home mom. So I blamed myself. I should have heard them. I should have missed the camera. I should have not allowed them up stairs alone. There were all these I should not of issues.

I just could not shake it. So every time those two went off anywhere together I was a mess. Believe me they were always sneaking off together too.

We would tell them over and over not to go off together, we would ground them for it and they kept right on doing it.

Trying to keep them from re offending each other we decided to move. To find a house where we could have our son on the first floor and the girls on the second floor.

So... more

Diner began as nicely as usual. We were all sitting there fixing out plates and talking to one another. Then my oldest daughter said, "Dad should I show her?" Well by this time I was excited that they had something for me to see.

When she handed me the picture. I felt my heart sink. I looked at it and then looked away. Who was it in the picture? Who took this picture? What does this mean?

Looking again at the picture I saw that the child naked on the bed was my daughter April. What I could not make out was who's face it was down next to her genital area.

I felt my body start shaking and hot tears began to stream down my face. Who? How? Where? I just... more

There are many wonderful and fully experienced Foster/Adoptive Parents out there today. They have brought adoption to the for front and they have helped many children on their way to a better life.

It is not them that I need to talk to. It is the new couples out there looking for that first little face to call their own. The ones with the rose colored glasses on and thinking the world is going to be so much nicer for them when a child is in it.

We all begin that way. The Agencies know this. As seasoned Foster parents we know when the signs are there that a child is Class 3. So we have the knowledge to turn the agency down. Shame on us. That just makes it more of... more

For those of us who have adopted older children, bedtime can be the hardest part of daily life. This is especially true if the children you adopt have never had a set bedtime and never experienced being made to get up early.

In homes where children are seldom sent to school and parents stay up and party all night long, it becomes a normal routine for the kids to stay up all hours of the night and sleep most of the day.

You may also find that they might have experienced physical, emotional or sexual abuse during the night time also.

But for us unfortunate Foster or Adoptive Parents who have to turn the world around and teach the children good hygiene and good restful... more

For every older child and for every birth parent out there. I hope you never stop searching for one another.

In a perfect world every adopted child would grow up strong and one day find their birth parent. When they find that parent, the parent would welcome them with open arms and great joy would be felt by both the child and parent.

For the emotional wellness of any child who has been adopted I think giving them the love and encouragement they need to one day see a birth parent out is part of our responsibility as... more

The agencies that handle the adoption of children need vital information on any couple interested in adopting.

The purpose for all the informative questions they ask and the home study process is to make sure they are placing children into good, secure homes.

They will ask a lot of personal questions about your childhood. What kind of parents raised you. What are your beliefs on dealing with children who need to be disciplined.

They may ask if you have ever used drugs or if you drink. They will tell you their guidelines for placing children. They will ask for your opinion on different things.

They may walk through your house and open dressers or closets.... more

After all the home studies, the paper work, the waiting and anticipation, the pre adopt meetings and the final placement of the child into your family. Even up to the date of the final adoption paper work, when the judge says, "Congratulations" and a new birth certificate is issued.

Right when you think you can relax. You find that your journey into being a family is now just beginning.

There is nothing more rewarding than when you adopt your child and you find that your child is just as happy that you opened your heart and family and invited them in.

The journey to fitting in and being a healthy part of every day family life is not always easy. That is why continued... more

Foster Care Adoption is one of the easiest ways to adopt a child in America. After all your paperwork and background checks are completed, and your homestudy checks out, the rest is fairly easy.

Your adoption center will place children with you when they have any child come through that fits your desired age range and blended statistics.

You will get an intake package on each child. It is a good idea to keep a file for each child so all the paper work and school records as well as medical history is at hand, if ever needed.

Some foster homes have 20 or 30 children come and go from their home. On different occasions you will have a child in your home who will come... more

We have a very special person in our family. We call her "Grandma Bears." Her mother raised her pretty much on her own with the help of her grandparents.

She has this picture of her in black and white, standing beside Santa Claus. It reminds me of the movie "Miracle on 34th Street," which of course is one of my all time favorites, along with "It's a Wonderful Life."

Our Grandma Bears is cheerful and fun loving. She drove a school bus in Wayne Westland School District in Michigan for over 40 years. The last 15 years of her career she spent driving handicapped children, who of course won her heart.

She always dressed for the season and always took pride in her... more

When considering adoption, there are so many things going on with paperwork and questions that some of the most important things are not given the time needed to make a good choice. There a hundreds of children out there needing homes, but that does not mean you just get the next one in line. It is important to think about what kind of child will fit into your life and family.

Sometimes we do not know we can say "No, we don't want a child with emotional issues or RAD or ADHD;" "No, we cannot care for a handicapped child;" or "Yes, I have experience in dealing with children with issues and would like to have one placed in my home."

If you have a pretty normal family and a... more