. I am noticing that Nancy Spoolstra is having as difficult of a time, as I did, in shaking off the aftereffects of reading Deborah Hannah’s An Unlit Path. I also felt much the same way when I read Dandelion on My Pillow, Butcher Knife Beneath My Bed a couple of years ago.

In many ways, for us emotionally battered adoptive moms, it’s much... more

I’m the first one to blog about a crime against children, always desiring to bring attention to this issue with the hopes of somehow doing this little something to either prevent, or to remedy, the situation.

Today I’ll be a bit more positive and link this story about third graders doing something good for the world, and I’ll point out that they are well on their way to learning the secret to a happy and fulfilling life.

The secret?

Quit worrying and fretting... more

For various reasons I don’t leave the house to go lift weights in a gym. The obvious excuses would include a lack of time and a lack of money, plus what would I do with all my kids while I indulged myself?

I’m slowly learning, maybe other mothers learned this faster than I, but my kids don’t like me to go anywhere without them. All adopted in sibling groups, all suffered abandonment and rejection; they prefer my constant presence in the house, a buffer against the world, another level of security for them. These children had often been... more

I have three grandchildren, one pictured here, that I’ve raised since they were infants, now they are 6, 9 and 10. Sometimes my other children, so bound up in their own grief, express resentment at this three, much the same way I’ve seen adopted children treat birth children, with extreme jealousy.

When the six year old, Jack, was a baby, I adopted a sibling group of seven children, then aged 3-13. A middle daughter, age 10, in that group particularly resented “the white kids” as she so insensitively described the trio. Their birth mom,... more

Often asked, “What do you do for yourself?” by well-meaning professionals that I come into contact with while searching for help for my children, I stumble for the right answer.

I understand that these young, often childless, fairly inexperienced workers fresh out of college cannot fathom why anyone would choose to live like I do, the mama of 39 children.

I would not have chosen this, at their age, either. Although it seems I’ve always been someone’s mother, having gone from the oldest in my own sib group of 4, to the mom of one... more

A friend of mine called me the other day wanting to know the first step in getting an adopted son the mental health that he needs, at least an initial assessment.

My first experiences into this realm, years ago, were less than pleasant as I struggled against bad attitudes and, seemingly, no sympathy for what I was up against.

I’d had a son tear up the principal’s office, they’d called me at the school where I worked, 15 miles away, and I’d advised them to call 911. Back then, that 11 year old outweighed me and was blindly angry during his unprovoked... more

Sometimes now, after decades of this rough and tumble adoption journey, I fret that I’m becoming a little jaded, even though I’m just about the most annoyingly chipper mama out there.

A friend of mine, seeing photo listings of cute little kids, can now only picture them as the raging teens they are likely to become. Love simply isn’t enough.

I’ve rarely though, if ever, met an adoptive mother who severely regretted her choice to adopt, although I know it has cost many parents their marriages, financial problems, their own emotional struggles and... more

“Sports therapy has long been considered helpful for those suffering from conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder, abuse, amnesia and even shyness. But Italian doctors have taken this often-marginal treatment a step further: they’re using the highly strategic game of soccer as part of a treatment plan for complex mental illnesses like schizophrenia and depression.”

I’ll buy that. I’ve seen firsthand how sports increases the self-confidence of children, fills their... more

Because I am a 52 year old, retired (school teacher) mother of many adopted children I sometimes feel, possibly erroneously, as if I could blog on any number of subjects. When one has 39 children, the range of issues and events is widespread.

I’ve been a teenage mother and an older mother, an adoptive mother, a grandmother, a mother-in-law and I have one birth child. I’ve been a married mom and a single mom and, probably most of all, I’m so dadgum opinionated about everything, right or wrong, doesn’t matter to me, I just feel so strongly about absolutely everything.

I read this very interesting article from a woman, once powerful in Hollywood, now claims she can’t get arrested... more

Yesterday’s missing baby was found safe thankfully. The story also opens a window to an explanation; an answer to a question I am often asked, regarding my children, “What happened to their mother?” There are many reasons, represented in my household alone, for the surrender or court order involving termination of parental rights.

In... more