Many of us may be familiar with the state welfare programs that assist single parents with children. The AFDC program has been around for some time.

However as more and more companies have closed and moved out of state the need for two parent families to receive some time of help has been more prominent.

This program was called TANF or Temporary Aid for Needy Families. However the work requirements and rules for qualifying for this benefit has been more harsh than for others who are receiving AFDC.

In the December report it was stated that:

Creating new incentives for states to restrict aid for two-parent families is a sharp reversal of the policy trend... more

One of the most disheartening aspects of adopting older girls, especially girls who have been sexually abused, is the devaluation that these darling girls now feel. Literally used and abused, destroying a tenuous self-esteem at best, it is up to us adoptive parents to emotionally rebuild significantly damaged children.

• Victims of child sexual abuse report more substance abuse problems. 70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use. • Young girls who are sexually abused are 3 times more likely to develop psychiatric disorders or alcohol and drug abuse in adulthood, than girls who are... more

Now with 15 grown children I have a little bit of a bigger perspective as I look back.

I’ve survived two sons in aircraft carriers off Iraq, and now another son is entering basic training for the Georgia Army National Guard.

Several of my daughters have graduated from college. An attorney friend of mine told me that he felt girls did better in college than boys, he’s the father of three birth, smart sons, who’ve struggled in their college years.

Maybe it is the males lacking in necessary maturity, for us, throw in the adoption... more

I’m often asked, “How do you feed all those people?”

I don’t think I’d refer to other people’s families as all those people, but that’s not the point today.

“Who cooks?” I’m also accusatorily asked, as if it is certainly not possible for one human being to do this day in and day out.

I do it, and it not that hard. I usually don’t offer up the fact that we are vegetarians as that fact truly prompts disbelief. “What do you eat?” Possibly thinking it must be grass seeds and and sprouts all day.

Just as I... more

I used to think I’d done my job when my kids turned 18. I’ve since learned otherwise. Just because I was personally busting loose at age 17, massively independent, doesn’t mean that it translates to children who were denied a good early start in life.

I’m finding that my older kids go through a very rough time, between ages 18-21, and usually it’s my boys who flounder in a big way. None of them were adopted as babies, all were shortchanged in that they didn’t have a forever mom for the entire 18 years.

My son pictured here, now... more

Knowing that I had 15 older kids, yesterday I was asked by a sweet well-meaning woman, “Do you ever get to see them?”

What am I? Rent-A Mom? Of course, I get to see my older kids. Did her birth kids abandon her? Between cell phones, our home phone, instant messaging, coming by, and emails, I hear from nearly every single one every day.

Adoption is as forever as birth. My kids didn’t land in my house, use up my resources, and fly the coop, never to be seen again. I’m still the mom. I’m a bit on edge as I find the dark ages of... more

Besides raising my 39 children, I have a driving mission in life. Working for Adopt America Network, I am passionate about matching families and waiting children, especially sibling groups and older children. I also use blogging as a tool both to encourage people to adopt, and by sharing our many struggles, I also am attempting to portray a realistic view of this world.

We are not the Brady Bunch; we are a family comprised of seven sibling groups and one birth child. We are learning to live together and to respect each other while getting educations and life lessons, while learning normal behavior, and overcoming many issues and... more

Sharing the information about my adopted older children being involved with the juvenile system, mental health and problems at school may give readers the wrong idea. I need to also relate that I’ve had several daughters, adopted as older children, finish college, one earned a Master’s Degree, they’ve married well, had children and great careers.

I expect as much from the rest of my children. I still have 24 kids under age 18. My minimal expectations involve them each finishing high school, alternative schools count. I also expect everyone... more

I’ve blogged about mental health and school issues with older adopted children and I have yet another scenario faced by our family. One son, adopted at age 8, sweet as a puppy then, grew up to be an angry, mistrustful, and dangerous teenager.

He’d had multiple caretakers that had let him down over the years, failed placements, people he’d grown attached to end their relationship with him, plenty of disappointments, heartaches, sadness and grief in his short life. To him, I was just another lady; the finality of adoption meant nothing to him. Why trust?

For the last several years his behaviors have grown increasingly violent, much destruction ensued, defiance, lashing out,... more

My co-blogger, Sharlene, wrote yesterday about school meetings and getting services for our children. I’d like to jump on her admirable bandwagon and add my two cents worth as I’ve had a host of children needing resources that were unavailable in a regular classroom.

Of my 39 children, 4 tested out as gifted, 4 are severely disturbed, and the other 35 have had a myriad of issues, abilities, needs and gifts.

When a new principal arrived... more