One of the toddler behaviors that some children seem to pick up is the habit of biting.

This is a very difficult habit to break. Children often use their mouths to show emotion and to learn about things. When their teeth begin to grow in they nibble on just about everything they can get their hands on. Unfortunately sometimes they get their hands on a brother or sister.

In play groups this type of behavior has to be controlled. A human bite can bring disease with it. Not to mention that you can bring blood and any illness that the other... more

School issues are tricky in the world of older adopted children. Not having come from a background where academics were stressed…to put it mildly, many of my children came from drug and gang backgrounds, horrible school systems, and endured too much change and trauma anyway, superseding their ability to pay attention in class.

How could they learn math facts when they weren’t sure if their birth mom would be sober after school, or if there’d be a new abuser in their house? Their little minds were chock full of survival thoughts, not phonics.

There... more

Should I have done anything differently? Should I have paid more attention to the adoption checklists as to what issues I felt I could parent? I’ve always thought that I’d been pretty clear in my comprehension and understanding of issues. I’ve avoided several such as pet abusers, fire starters and children who are documented as those who sexually act out.

No surprise there, as those issues all scare me, I feel substantially unqualified to parent those.

I’ve also chosen to not deal with medical issues as I’m terribly squeamish, not a good thing when one has 21 rough and tumble sons.

What I’m really discovering is that as I provide security and stability, a sense... more

Walt Disney allegedly asked ten different people what they thought of a new idea, and if they were unanimous in their rejection of it, he would begin to work on it immediately. If, in the early 1980s, I’d have asked ten people, “What do you think about me adopting 38 kids as siblings to my birth child? I’m going to mainly do domestic adoptions, traumatized children from the foster care system, they will act out tremendously. Is that a good idea?” Like everyone wouldn’t have hollered,... more

How do you stay so strong?

I get asked this a lot, constantly as a matter of fact.

What’s my choice? Be weak? Fold?

If I can be all Southern Pentecostal on a Sunday morning, I’d like to do so. To simply say, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”

It couldn’t be easier for me. I can raise my darling 39 children with a very strong assurance that I know I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, with these particular children. I felt a huge calling, each time I adopted my children, that these were the children... more

This beautiful tribute to children reading appears at the Childrens Art Museum in Indiana. There were several of these statues placed near the entrance of the museum. This of course was one of my favorites.

I have always loved to encourage children to read. A book can open the doors of anyones imagination and take you to the outer limits of space or sit you down on the sand of a tropical island.

It is good to encourage your child to read with you, to you and to themselves. It enhances their comprehension... more

Nancy Spoolstra blogged about this article already, but I, as usual, have a few more thoughts.

This is what jumped out at me, considering I’ve adopted 31 out of my 39 children from the foster care system.

Nationwide, there are more than 500,000 children in foster care at any one time, and more than half have mental illness or serious behavioral... more

I adore this ability to link articles so easily, as I believe that parents who’ve adopted older children need a large amount of resources while we sail through such uncharted territory with surprises around every bend. We can usually say with confidence, “Wow! I sure didn’t see that coming!”

Not very reassuring I know, but certainly accurately truthful

In this months’ Fostering Families Today, Pat... more

“We find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” Maxwell Maltz, Communication Bulletin for Managers & Supervisors, June 2004

Yeah, uh-huh, that’s what I keep reminding myself of as well. Who thought this would be easy? That one could adopt older children, give them a great home, and all would be well. Kind of old school thinking isn’t it?

Conversely, if I don’t demonstrate to my children that obstacles... more

Well on March 14th, 2007, at 4 pm, the newest addition to our growing adoptive family arrived. His mom and dad named him Caleb Dwayne... the Dwayne part is after his proud papa Tegge.

His delivery had the hospital talking. The doctor had gone home saying call me when she is ready we have about another 4 hours or so before hard labor hits.

The nurse and her husband placed her on the birthing ball and before they could even get her back in bed she said "Oh Wow....I have to push". Much to everyone's surprise Caleb just slid right into home. His daddy's careful hands caught him before he fell off the bed.

All week long the nurses have come into her room and said "You... more