The head of missions in our church, Pastor Terry, came and spoke to my Ladies Sunday School class this morning. As always he did a wonderful job, he spoke about a trip in 1989 to Nicaragua when the Contras and the Sandinistas were still fighting it out. He had a great story about how both sides had heard his testimony at the same time one evening, he learned this later after there was peace, but I took away something entirely different from his talk.

A south Texas, Mexican-American preacher, Pastor Rueben, who has visited our church many times over the... more

My kids don’t get up on Sundays and ask if we’re going to church, they know that we’re going each week, it is what we do. It is something they can, and do, count on. My kids are active in Children’s Church and in our Youth Group; I believe we are very fortunate to have such a supportive church.

After all the trauma, after all the chaos that has surrounded my children before they joined our family, I have been very careful and selective in providing stability and activities that they can constantly count on. They need, and they crave uber... more

Billy Ray will be 18 in soon. He is currently placed at a Group Home for probation reasons, he has been ordered to stay there until he turns 18. He struggles with depression, anger issues, and ADHD. He takes medication and attends counseling. He went to the Group Home following an assault to another student, and for attempted assault to the principal and a teacher. He also was charged with shoplifting previously. Because he is expected to stay at the group home until age 18, we realize adoption may not happen for him; however we would want the family... more

Kelly writes, “…Hard to do when we are stuck in a trauma cycle, and constantly having to defend ourselves as parents,” and I really want to expound upon that thought.

Why do we have to defend ourselves as parents? The general population thinks we’re suckers, or stupid, to knowingly add troubled, traumatized children into our family, for trying to make a difference in someone’s lives.

Our new children think we must be equally as deluded for trying at all when their own birth parents did not do so. Why should these strangers, usually... more

Resiliency is the ability to recover quickly from setbacks. It is a speedy recovery from problems, or compared to elasticity in that it has the ability to spring back quickly into shape after being bent, stretched or deformed.

This is something we must model to our adopted older children. Yes, this covers all kids, but I’m attempting to work within this one framework.

This means that we too must be resilient; non-rigid, flexible, buoyant, and hardy. We parents, who absorb a great deal of undeserved rage and anger, must also possess the ability... more

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” ~ Alexander Pope “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~ Lewis B. Smedes “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ~ Mark Twain I receive a good many emails from parents who now feel as troubled as the descriptions once given about their older, adopted children. Once very normal, usually... more

What got you here, won’t get you there. A title to a new book on leadership caught my eye in an email today and I went to review its information. The title alone is enough for me this morning.

What got you here, won’t get you there…an apt description regarding my children and their behaviors. The cute kids that we take notice of in the adoption photo listings do not, in any way, detail nor indicate what is to come into our lives when we adopt... more

I do not even want to know what type of person I would be without Adoption. I used to help others a lot but I didn't enjoy it. I used to carry a deep, silent whole in my life but now it is a sand hill.

I used to get stressed out a lot but now I crack up laughing. I never believed in Murphy's Law but now I live by it. Life passed me by but now I am the one at the park in the middle of the day eating a taco and watching my children play.

When big tears slide down my child's face I am the first one to brush hers away and cry with her as I sweep her up into my arms.

I vow to never say anything on purpose to ever hurt their little feelings, but it has... more

Maybe when I’m in the middle of a morass I shouldn’t blog? The author of a recent and insightful book regarding her adoption experiences was castigated for her brutal honesty. She was told, in a very ugly manner, that she was ruining it for others. This I disagree with totally. I believe she shone a beacon of light into a dark situation, validated the experiences of many adoptive parents, and she was encouraging as well.

This... more

I have a son in jail, 18 years old and seemingly in his element. At the moment, there is no part of him that feels either regret nor remorse. In his mind, the rest of the world is wrong, he is just misunderstood, what with all these stupid rules that people keep making up.

He’d pulled a knife on another kid at school last year and threatened the kid, felony charges were slapped on him. I made him spend six weeks in our county jail before bonding him out in an apparently futile attempt at ToughLove. He didn’t mind jail one bit, he got to... more