Well it is hard to keep a straight face when you are standing in a court room full of misbehaving teenagers who are being sentenced to Saturday Cleaning Details.

It seems that this group of rowdy kids decided to give the class administrator of their Tabacco Program a very hard time. Each got written up for probation violations and the Judge was not to happy to see them.

I have never heard more whining in my life except when my dog Bessie gave birth to 11 puppies. This group of teens who thought they were A one cool guys ended up... more

The oldest of a sibling group, the pitcher here, was13 when he was adopted with his six siblings. Most of my other siblings groups all had the oldest child in the 10-13 year old age range.

This oldest child, in each sibling group, was usually a worrier as the child care had always been left to him or her, and in spite of all the trauma, abuse and neglect, each time I have to say, the oldest child did an admirable job of parenting the other frightened children. Sadly, in every case, the kids were split up in foster care. Each of my older kids can... more

“Toddlers or pre-school-aged children with complex trauma histories are at risk for failing to develop brain capacities necessary for regulating emotions in response to stress. Trauma interferes with the integration of left and right hemisphere brain functioning, such that a child cannot access rational thought in the face of overwhelming emotion. Abused and neglected children are then prone to react with extreme helplessness, confusion, withdrawal, or rage when stressed.”

Sure... more

Every parent who adopts an older child will face some version, or resulting behavior, from their child based on the one simple, irrefutable fact of a previously damaged relationship between the child and various ensuing caretakers. I wish it were not so, but it is what it is. It is there, like the turd in a punch bowl, there’s no getting around what the punch will taste like.

You can take it out, but there’s a remaining effect. Please don’t misunderstand me and think I’m, in any way, comparing a child to that. I’m only using that ugly... more

We have had a large accumulation of snow over the past week or so. The kids have been given a few snow days to stay home and play.

With the below zero temps, no one has been able to get out in the mornings. But as the sun comes out and the temperature rises, the kids have had a blast.

Some have been really building some great snow and ice sculptures. One bunch of the girls built a telephone like the old time dial phones. The boys created a car with hood, tires, and seats. One of the dads got out there and made a hunter and then he and the kids made... more

It’s going to take several posts for me to continue covering the complex trauma found in older adopted children. Duh…it is complex.

Again from Focal Point, I’m taking lengthy quotes.

“The diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) does not capture the full range of developmental difficulties that traumatized children experience. Children exposed to maltreatment, family violence, or loss of their caregivers often meet diagnostic criteria for depression, ADHD, oppositional... more

I keep meaning to continue my ruminations, based on our family’s experiences, on complex trauma but, truthfully, revisiting everything is traumatic now for me. With this many children in a family, it has often been quite the ordeal. At the moment, our lives are relatively peaceful, a lull in the action that I am enjoying very much, but I know it won’t last.

Hitting adolescence is explosive in traumatized children; a landmine I’ve walked through over and over, yet I still know no more now than when I started. The one thing I can easily shout from the... more

I’m a tough ole bird, I don’t cry easily, and I love my 39 children with all my heart. Three of my sons are now in, or have been, in the armed forces and I’m immensely proud of their accomplishments. All of us over 50 something folks remember our ambivalence towards the Vietnam War; we remember those who died and those who served. It was a difficult time for our country with riots and protests, one of my older daughters had watched a documentary of the 1960s, “Mama, how did anyone survive those years?’

We did survive, but it certainly... more

“As little as one drink a day can increase the odds for low birth weight and raise your child's risk for problems with learning, speech, attention span, language, and hyperactivity. And some research has shown that expectant moms who have as little as one drink per week are more likely than nondrinkers to have children who later exhibit aggressive and delinquent behavior.”

My children, especially in the last decade, with more paperwork and documentation... more

There are wonderful birth parents that, for many reasons, make a very sacrificial and selfless plan for their soon to be born children. The birth parents represented in my family are much different; their children were removed from their custody due to neglect and abuse, sending the children into foster care and the angry unknown.

By the time they come into my family, their forever family, a new adoptive family, they are emotionally bruised and battered, bearing physical scars often, and angry, disillusioned and reluctant to trust, to put it mildly.

One... more