The Fist

January 2nd, 2011

sleepingYears ago I taught at a preschool.  Every year there were "those kids"--you know, the ones who did not understand the concept of sharing, the ones who were incredibly impulsive , the ones who took out their frustration by hitting or screaming at the other kids and me, the ones who were unable to sit still...In short, these were the ones who drove me and every other teacher crazy.  The director of the school maintained that the best way to deal with these kinds of children was to "catch them while they were good".  So for every correction I made, or disciplinary measure I had to inflict, I tried to balance it with two positive ones. In addition to that approach, I came… [more]

Teaching How To Be “Appropriate”

July 11th, 2009

I must share that my Hubby and I are passionate about raising well-mannered kids. Good manners bring more opportunities, people want to be around you, instill a pride in ones-self and a positive attitude. We find that society is letting many young ones run amuck and the rudeness is out of control. It has been a struggle with our middle two as we have not raised them from infancy and they really are not sure of our expectations due to language barriers and having been with us for only about 15 months, especially when they see their friends getting away with things that we would not tolerate in our home. Their language skills have impressed us greatly and they have moved passed being "Functionally… [more]

Preparation 101 Get A Partner

June 29th, 2009

A couple of months ago I wrote the post Preperation 101 Must Have Thick Skin. This evening was a long one for my family. I thought of the prior post as my seven year old was yelling "I hate You." and "You are not my mom anymore". The worst was, "No one loves me." The funniest was, "You don't love me, your husband either." Maybe funny isn't the right word, but humor is a must or crazyness will follow quickly. So what caused this outrage? I'm still not sure. Enu has been wanting to have a friend over lately and Mita has a friend over tommorow. As I actually had the phone in my hand to call her friend's mom when… [more]

Break Through on the Lying

March 3rd, 2009

Last month I wrote about The Consequences of Bad Behavior. I mentioned that Mita had to write sentences as punishment for lying. Well, today after school I caught her in a lie and she denied it vehemently. After she calmed down we gave her another chance to tell us what happened. After thinking for a short time, she simply confessed. No drama, no tears, just a short and sweet, "Hey, I did it and I shouldn't have." I felt a weight lift off my chest. Her punishment if she would have continued to lie about the situation would have been removal of her DS for a week. I was so glad not to have to do that! I was so… [more]

The Consequences of Bad Behavior

February 27th, 2009

As a parent I believe strongly that my kids need to learn the consequences of bad choices. When raising children from babies (whether biological or adopted)you have the opportunity to let your children learn about consequences from early on. When you bring older children into your life, you have missed these early opportunities. I have found that this can be very challenging to say the least! Since bringing Mita and Enu home we have been trying to let them learn the natural consequences of making bad choices. For example, if you break your Mp3 player by throwing it around, you no longer have a Mp3 player. I think they were shocked that Mommy wasn't going to go out to the "big… [more]

Behavior Contracts in Older Adopted Children

July 19th, 2007

At one time in our family’s endless journey towards normalcy, I had five or so kids on behavior contracts at school. Teachers willingly checked off some simple accomplishments like: 1) homework turned in, 2) not disruptive today in class, 3) had school supplies etc. It served to keep the kids accountable and to help me see what needed to be worked on here at home. Nowadays we have Power School which I love. Within a few quick minutes I can see into the teacher’s grade book and attendance sheet, if there were any tardies and a fast click to email the teacher. No more of this, “I did OK,” when I ask the kids about a test… [more]

Consequences

July 3rd, 2007

One of the biggest battles in our home involves consequences. A local teacher in our area, lowered a kid’s grade for sleeping in class, a consequence I’d certainly approve of, but the teacher was not backed by the principal, a conflict ensued, a law was enacted and the teacher changed schools. I spent 25 years in the public school system and learned about many, many parents who would back up their chronically misbehaving children, and overturn a teacher’s grade, involving the school board if necessary. I’d love to read a study on the long term ramifications of this poorly thought out move, as I felt then that a ‘victim mentality’ was emerging and rewarded. I’m guessing that these same parents… [more]

Violence Against Parents

April 13th, 2007

"Parenting is an ugly job, and you find yourself faced with this, and if you don't do something, somebody else is going to," he said. "Rage and conflict don't just disappear." This distressing article doesn’t really give any answers as there may possibly be none. However the bottom line is that there are a great many juveniles who need psychiatric help. This is universal, not an adoption problem in this article, but it strikes a chord in my world. My family has impulse problems and poor self-control which are two mitigating factors in this article, yet I’d have to say we are spectacularly blessed by the fact that older adopted children come with Medicaid that pays for therapeutic help. May I stress this point? Repeat it for the thousandth… [more]

Challenged By Disrespect and Agression

March 29th, 2007
Categories: Discipline

If you think you have seen it all like I have in dealing with mean little toddlers. We haven't seen anything yet. I met my match today. I am usually calm, cool and collected, a bit silly, I use humor a lot like ice cream. You would think ice cream is the heal all cure all at our house. Today was a mint chocolate chip day. giggle. I went over to drop off my daughter Angela to sit with her sister and play with the kids. While dad and I had some adult time. We on a trip to see our nephew and had six hours to our own selves. Before I got into the door I had… [more]

Doing The Right Thing

March 14th, 2007

“The mother brought the three boys to the Loganville police station. The boys were crying as they confessed, police said.” These three young boys, ages 7, 9 and 11, broke into a business, stole some items, including a fire accelerant, and set a fire that burned four homes…sort of accidentally. I am very big on accountability and personal responsibility. Very big, I am annoyingly pro-law, I respect authority and doing the right thing. I have boys this age. Yes, I know with 21 sons that I have boys every age, but these are very young boys, and last night, hearing this on the news broke my heart. I believe that this mother did the right thing. She held them accountable for… [more]