How To Raise Traumatized Children?

July 30th, 2007

Clearly I know very little about raising traumatized children. I am flying by the seat of my pants with my 39 kids. It isn’t easy, there are no instruction manuals, and I need a lot of outside help. I’m not afraid either to fail or to make mistakes. It takes an ability to do both. It takes my own willingness to discard my great ideas that didn’t work and to move on to those that do. Or to just continue trying to discover those that do. I’ll meet tomorrow with a new psychiatrist that has joined the psychologists group that I’ve been using for ten years now. Two different psychologists come to our house, remarking it’s nearly like… [more]

Facing Setbacks

May 25th, 2007

I don’t know if it is an obsession or a deep concentration but as I go about my daily business, my brain whirls with thoughts of my children and how I can help them grow past their issues and problems. They all came to me as older children and I was denied the earliest opportunities for nurturing them. They were denied normal childhoods; trauma laden, abused and neglected instead. I believe they are very resilient children, most of them at least, deeply desiring to become as normal as possible, if only to fit in better with others. We as adults have also had many problems. Everyone faces challenges, some more so than others, and the manner in which we handle crisis… [more]

When Parent’s Cry

February 25th, 2007
Categories: Parenting Blunders

There are times when parenting your children can be a very tearful experience. No parent ever likes to ground, lecture or discipline their children. It would be a wonderful world if parents didn't have to raise their kids to be responsible adults. No one just develops morals if they are not taught to care about important things. If everyone just went around slapping and hurting each other and no one said a word. What would life be like? Parents are trying hard now and sometimes they get treated like dirt. Kids with attitudes. Teens who know it all. LIttle kids cussing and swearing at teachers and at their parents. Some parents are even being abused by their out of control children. We… [more]

Parenting: Act or React?

January 25th, 2007
Categories: Parenting Blunders

One of the most wonderful things that I enjoy doing is "people watching." Sometimes it can really make my day. I love to watch how people interact with each other. In many ways it gives you a window to the inside of their life. Watching how the children act towards their parents and watching how the parents act or react to them or their behaviors. Today we got our second dusting of snow this year. All the children were excited and I had a blast watching them try to make a snowman with this little bit of snow. Of course they didn't get very far with making any snowman, and it wasn't long until they just gave up and played tag in the snow… [more]

Enabling Parents of Delinquent Teens

August 17th, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

What on earth would make an adult parent look the other way and allow their child to host an underage bash...where alcohol and drugs are the main course? In short, my temperament on this subject is running thin. I want some action from our local police or I am going to be going to the press. There are a few homes in our area where the parents let their children run their home. When my daughters gone and I need to find her I know to look there first. Most of the time she will be there drunk. I am tired of talking to the woman and hearing her promise that she wont let my daughter come back there. Now… [more]

Another Michigan Child Dies

June 7th, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

Michigan has been in the news lately more than I would care to know for child abuse and neglect or death. Once again today the news spotlighted a five year old girl who died in her home. When the police arrived. They said the child had been dead for about two hours. The mother told them "She did not feel like taking the child to the doctor." The home was dirty and unlivable. Protective Services removed two other children who were living in the home also. It should not take a year to lock this mother up and sentence her to life in prison. Her neglect is more than obvious. However our wonderful legal system will abide by all of her rights to a fair trial. I'm… [more]

Don’t Call Me Stupid

May 31st, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

We were working most of the day getting things ready for our "Memorial Day Yard Sale." By the late afternoon we were all cranky and tired. We were pricing boxes and my daughter was helping me. She went to pick up a box and she spilled half of the stuff we had put in the box out. Before I could stop myself I called her stupid. I am not one for doing that. I guess from the stress of the day I was just ready to relax. I wanted everything done and done fast. Mean while my daughter quit helping me and I do not blame her. She was very hurt. She can ask a mound of… [more]

The Adoptive Parents of Ricky Holland Hit News Again

May 30th, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

Well here we go with some new about Ricky Holland, the child killed with a hammer and stuffed into a trash bag and left on the side of the road. All of this believed to be done by his parents. One parent against the other and the dad finally takes police to where Ricky's little body is found. Is it sad that the parents are in jail? "NO." They as adults made a decision to adopt this little boy. Then they made another decision to kill this little boy. I wonder what Ricky felt like as the hammer came smashing down on his body. From the very hands that should have been protecting him and seeking help for him? We have no room on this… [more]

To Much Compassion Can Hurt

May 17th, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

As new parents we tend to be very compassionate to our children. We have heard the horrible issues of why the kids were placed up for adoption. We have this over whelming desire to make the world right again for them. That is such a positive goal but often we make parenting blunders that end up giving us regrets in the end. We buy them all sorts of new things. Great toys. The coolest clothing. The neatest sneakers. Just about anything their little hearts desire. Trying our best to paint the dream of a whole new world for our adopted child. A place where they are safe and they have all that they need. In a perfect world this may be the answer. But… [more]

The Dispute of a Fathers Rights

May 15th, 2006
Categories: Parenting Blunders

You may have heard that there is a man in Michigan who is taking his ex girlfriend to court. She told him she could not become pregnant. Then after having unprotected sex with each other. The woman became pregnant. The woman decided to keep the baby. The man said he was not yet ready to become a father. So he feels that he should not be responsible for paying any support to the child that he does not want to parent. I find this very interesting. It could really make some changes in parental laws. The state would be bearing all the burden of raising children of low income mothers, who do not work. They would be forced to release the biological father from… [more]