The Beginning

September 2nd, 2011

yellow_house_2Welcome to my blog post! I’m glad you are here, and I hope you visit often. To give you a little background on our situation, my husband and I have been married for 13+ years. We got married when we were both 30, and we never really thought we wanted children. We lived a good life, thinking only of ourselves, we lived in a big house on a lake and drove expensive cars, had a big boat and spent money like we would have it forever, traveling and partying with friends, we thought we had it all! We owned a business, and when the recession hit, we struggled, to put it mildly. About 3 years ago we had to file bankruptcy and… [more]

Grandchildren Are Our Reward

May 17th, 2007

Counting the three grandchildren that I adopted, bringing my total number of children up to 39, we’ve had 16 new births in twelve years time. That’s a lot of babies to hold, our own population explosion with three more due in the next couple of months. 19 babies in all from a family largely built from the adoption of older children. That one choice just made me be a grandmother faster and at a younger age than normal. An abuelita (grandma) by age 40 and it had nothing to do with the fact that I birthed my oldest child when I was barely 19. My oldest granddaughter, now 12, is in a grade with three of my children; two uncles and an aunt in her class. Her mother… [more]

100 Months

April 9th, 2007

Blogging in two arenas, with a 52 year old memory that has been diluted by my 39 children, I’m paranoid about repeating myself and sounding as senile as I sometimes feel. My 33 year old daughter remarked, “Well you get new readers all the time,” which will now become my mantra and my excuse for repeating myself. Often mothers find what they need at the time, and then later I encourage other mothers. I believe I mentioned my 100 month theory on another post. Today marks that 100th month we’d been looking forward to celebrating. 100 months ago Martin and Tony joined our family, at ages 2 and 4, along with two older very emotionally disturbed siblings. Martin… [more]

Holiday Hell

April 9th, 2007

Life in an adoptive family has at least one guaranteed constant. Holiday Hell. Such an rude and impolite, yet accurately descriptive term for what transpires like clockwork in its predictability. Naïve Mamas, like I shouldn’t still be, try and provide sweet, wholesome holiday experiences for our children to participate in and remember their childhoods by, only to have it blow up in our faces time and time again. When one adopts children from the foster care system, one invites all their past negative experiences into one’s family as a side result. In my children’s pasts, their birth families drank, partied and did drugs constantly, holidays not only being no exception, but were usually a reason to amp up the alcohol induced… [more]

Becoming a Mom

April 8th, 2007

My 23 year old daughter and I spent the afternoon talking. Now pregnant and expecting her first child, a step-mother already to a four year old, and married for only a year, she’s starting to think about her past and how it will affect her parenting. Knowing her birth mother has some serious mental health issues, and not having a clue as to her father’s identity, she was feeling kind of blue, maybe wary would be a better word, as she’s recently been asked so many medical history questions that she does not know the answers to at all. She knows that she was a severe failure-to-thrive child, for her first decade of life she hardly reached 40 pounds, as a teen she… [more]

It’s Not Impossible

April 7th, 2007

I just took 22 of my children to the dollar theater to see The Astronaut Farmer. We loved it, even my 4 and 5 years old kids paid attention, and we ran into a friend of ours who has around a dozen children as well. Wonderfully inexpensive entertainment for large families. For $22 we saw an inspiring movie that some might mutter, “That’s impossible!” It’s not impossible for a farmer, with an aeronautical degree, to build and launch a rocket from his barn. I’m raising possibility thinkers, thank you Dr. Robert Schuler. I’m their mom, their coach and their encourager. They came out of foster care, from horrendous circumstances, yet I’m here to exclaim positively that I’ll help them… [more]

It Ain’t Easy….

April 7th, 2007

“A budget crisis in Rhode Island has forced the state to contemplate difficult cuts, including services meant to ease the transition of foster kids who have "aged out" of the system. If the cuts are made, former foster kids between the ages of 18-21 would no longer receive the aid that helps them pay for things like school, rent and health insurance." What? Some of the most tenuous members of society, are being forced to take it in the gut? Who doesn’t understand that society would be forced to pay even more to the prison system to house uneducated, unsupported children who’ve aged out of the foster care system? I’m not even going to jump into a rant against aging out, the researchable statistics… [more]

Weekend Pass

April 6th, 2007

My 15 year old son, who is in an Outdoor Therapeutic Program, is getting a three day pass to come home for the Easter weekend. He’s not been home for months as he was led away in handcuffs over his family violence charges. The police had been called; he was on probation anyway, I’ve been very vocal and insistent that we need help, that he needs consequences, and that we’ve been in danger from his rages. That translated to him as, “Mama doesn’t love me. She kicked me out.” Not, “my behaviors kicked me out, but Mama did.” So not only must I try and help him overcome his ‘professional victim mentality’ and learn accountability, his penchance for violence and mayhem must be addressed… [more]

Through the Eyes of a Grandchild

April 5th, 2007

My three year old grandson, Ray, comes over to my house everyday, except on the weekends when he putters around his own seven acres with his Poppa. My two youngest kids are 4 and 5, so Ray has built-in playmates. He doesn’t remember life before they joined our family. Since we are a very large family, Ray has a carload of cousins, but the majority of his aunts and uncles live at home with me, his grandmother. I look around my house and I see all my traumatized children, I see and deal with their issues each day, calm the aggressions, referee the problems, and contend with the flare-ups. I have a sixth sense, a third eye, and an inner… [more]

Bedwetting in Older Adopted Children

April 5th, 2007

If you drove up to the front of my house, you might be fairly impressed by the size of it, the way it seems to rise out of a hill on one side; the height and breadth of it are singularly impressive. One son of mine claims though that we each only have enough square feet to breathe, the square feet of oxygen over our heads. He exaggerates because our house is huge. So it looks good from the outside, sometimes it looks OK on the inside, but the giveaway to the fact that I parent traumatized children, comes from the faint odor or urine that seems to be pervasive at times. Traumatized children wet the bed. There’s a fact… [more]