My dream in life is to be alone, to go outside and work all day without interruptions, basking in the peace and the solitude of my gardens, eating all I want when I want, without having to stop and cook dinner. I’ll get this chance, if all goes well, in less than 14 years. Time flies anyway, I’m constantly busy, happy and fulfilled, but truly isolation and seclusion appeal greatly to me. I dream about it quite often.

Then I read this article in Newsweek, suggesting that isolation and loneliness actually... more

Even though my children and I are grieving over a tough loss, that of an outstanding teacher that we were blessed to know, even though she died far too young at 43, and even though I can’t wrap my mind around the ‘whys’ of this tragedy, I still know that God is in charge. Life isn’t random, nor should we be victims of our circumstances.

I want to rail at God over this, but I won’t. I simply can’t imagine any good coming out of this, I don’t see the Big Picture, I only see the devastation her family is experiencing and the grief in our community.

A principal... more

My middle school children faced a shattering loss today in school. A very beloved seventh grade teacher was killed yesterday afternoon in an automobile accident. We live in a small county where everyone knows everyone and the emotional impact was tremendous.

The entire school, teachers and students, spent the whole day crying. I’d debated on whether or not to even send my 7 middle schoolers to school at all. I didn’t even know how to tell them this at breakfast. Through my own tears, I let them know what had happened.

My children stared at me in abject... more

As open as I am about our life, my life as a single mom to 39 children, it’s amazing what I still have to keep to myself as it is either too painful or too unresolved at the moment.

Sometimes it has taken me years to get past an episode and be able to talk about it unemotionally. The feedback I have received since I’ve been blogging encourages me to keep it real, as so many of y’all are also going through some very tough times with your children.

I have long spells when our life is fairly peaceful, soccer season usually keeps us too busy to do much else, and my children... more

I’ve spent all week struggling with bureaucracies and my son who is in a short-term psychiatric placement. I’m trying to find him residential psychiatric care as he has become unmanageable in our house.

If I just refuse to take him from the state hospital he is now residing at, I’d be charged with abandonment. If I bring him home, it would be after several professionals have deemed him a danger to our family. I would knowingly be bringing a potentially homicidal child home and if something happened, if he attacked a child, I’d be charged with negligence.

I... more

All of my children, adopted with their siblings, have suffered from this disease; the affliction appearing more obvious in some kids than others, but the good news is that it is treatable and curable.

I’d have had it too had I grown up unloved, abused and neglected.

Pushed through the foster care system, somehow most of my kids were in right decent foster homes, some were in spectacular homes, but other than a foster mom who put a two year old on clonidine for his hyperactivity, I have few complaints. That hyper kid, as all... more

Big ole news flash: chemicals in your food are bad for you. I absolutely harp on this, rail against it as often as possible, climb upon my worn-out soapbox and bay to the moon since my kids don’t really listen to me.

“But the new, carefully controlled study shows that some artificial additives increase hyperactivity and decrease attention span in a wide range of children, not just those for whom over activity has been diagnosed as a learning problem.”

I read this today in New York Times and worded differently on several other... more

The four kids I raised since they were babies had plenty of opportunities to absorb the correct behavior techniques and the little things in life that make one fairly civilized.

My other 35 kids have been more of a challenge. Like who doesn’t know that the shower curtain liner goes inside the tub? I’ve spent years and years railing over this one fact. Duh if you leave it on the outside all the water runs on the floor. I have to replace an entire bathroom floor that has eroded, corroded and flat rotted out after almost 15 years of liquid abuse.

My only RAD daughter... more

Years ago when notebooks came in blue cloth rather than vinyl, I started keeping a garden notebook, it was in the 1970s and I listed all the varieties of seeds I’d tried plus my successes and failures in the garden. I mapped out each raised bed with what I’d planted each year and the date I’d planted each item. I was a total, devoted nerd about it, but I only had one daughter back then.

My gardens kept growing in response to the number of mouths I had to feed. Going from a half a dozen tomato plants to over a hundred this year, realizing I’d only keep us in fresh... more

After going through yet another CPS investigation I feel compelled to speak to others in the same boat. This can and usually will happen in the adoption journeys when one chooses to adopt older, traumatized children.

There are many different scenarios. I have a son still hollering that I am an abuser. He is in a mental institution where I hope and pray he will get the help that he needs. It is short term and we are searching for a long-term solution.

I’ve been on internet support groups and have met many adoptive parents who stress over this possibility.... more