Possibly I should preface this post with the statement, “Not all of my sons have been involved with the law.”

I am struggling hard with the concept of criminal activity. I have some very angry sons; boys who were adopted later in life, very traumatized, and they are demonstrating a clear inability to follow rules, no matter the consequences.

All of my children came from backgrounds in which there was considerable parental involvement with the police. They learned such erroneous concepts as, “The MAN is out to getcha!” There was no understanding... more

In this post I talked about living beneath the radar financially. My children and I all dress mainly in used clothing yet all my kids look great in their Gaps and Abercrombies. None of us are self-conscious for many reasons, the number one reason is that other people are all so self-involved, as are we also, that who can determine if our clothes were once worn by another person?

My mother taught me that fact years ago. Everyone else is so consumed with their own personal business that truly they take little notice of everyone else.

Put more succinctly:

Don't take anything personally.... more

I’ve learned a new word today and I’ve been rolling it off my tongue constantly, excited about the concept as it buzzes right through the world I’ve inhabited all my life.

I have always been an anti-consumerist, a dumpster diver, but I’ve now learned about Fregans who are known as

scavengers of the developed world, living off consumer waste in an effort to minimize their support of corporations and their impact on the planet,... more

My family has severely been tested these past couple of years. I haven’t even written about several of the mind numbing events, it’ll take years until it is less painful than it is right now. I also prefer to wait until situations are resolved and feelings are not so tightly wound.

I have been through the wringer. I just hung up from talking to a grown son, telling him that I’m even more certain now than I was 20 years ago that I’m walking the road that God chose for me. I’m parenting the exact amount of children that I deeply believe were individually... more

I could not decide if I should write a post about our diminishing birds population since I’m a concerned environmentalist and I believe we owe it to our children to not mess up the world, or if I should talk about the number of my children who go out of their way to make it clear that they do not love me at times.

Nancy and several others have... more

A couple of times, when the kids are in bed, I’ve seen the TV show Intervention and I think it is a searingly true-to-life horrifying look at addictions and what it does to the family.

In nearly every case, the interventionist will ask the parents, “Why do you think it is OK for you to allow a meth using adult child of yours to live rent free with you while shooting up?” Different scenarios, same age-old problem of the co-dependent... more

One of the hardest things that a parent, adoptive or birth, sometimes has to do is to appear to ‘turn one’s back’ on their law-breaking children. To do otherwise would simply enable said child to continue a life of crime.

Many of us that are involved in the adoption of older children find ourselves with the unenviable task of teaching rules and negative consequences to children who’ve come out of criminal backgrounds, often their birth parents are in jail or prison, or have been there more than once.

Several of my children grew up in... more

Herb Greenberg and Patrick Sweeney wrote, Succeed on Your Own Terms, and they chose nineteen defining qualities that lead to success.

In the adoption of older children, I’d advise anyone to develop some, if not all of these traits.

They are perseverance, goal-oriented, self awareness, resilience, a willingness to take a risk, the ability to thrive under pressure, optimism, empathy, competitiveness, patience, persuasiveness, confidence, passion,... more

I apologize in advance that way too often my blog is personal rather than informative but all I have is experience, not necessarily any answers but usually an understanding or empathy regarding what others are also encountering in this tough world of raising older adopted children. This means traumatized children.

I’d had a hard weekend and it showed through in my posts.

I’d picked up an older Dr. Phil (2001) book, Self Matters... more

I was going to write about positive expectancy but I got waylaid by negativism this morning before church. I should be sitting in my Ladies Sunday School Class, absorbing the teachings of Miss Martha, always an uplifting and interesting experience.

Instead I dropped off all the other children and came back home to deal with a 12 year old rager who last split his bedroom door in half and who has punched holes in my walls. He’s again angry because I wouldn’t let him attack a ten year old who accidentally got a drop of water on him yesterday when they were... more