The court room was quiet until the bailiff's voice sounded "All rise." Then the Judge came in and sat down. We were all told to be seated.

April sat in front of us with her attorney. The Judge addressed the issues of the bench trial. April's attorney made her plea. April was asked to plead guilty to drunken and disorderly conduct with use of alcohol by a minor. Instead of resisting arrest.

In the last court hearing April had been placed into the custody of the DHS but allowed to stay in our home until this court date.

Like most teens she thought they would give her a fine and some community service and probation. Then she would be out the door and off to her next daily event.

Dad and I sat there quietly. When all was said and done, April was rendered into custody and placed in a lock down juvenile center until a residential placement could be found for her.

She was in shock. Her anger hit. She tried to run out of the court room. Only to be caught by the court police officer.

They placed her in a room. She had to remove all of her jewelry. She kept saying they are not getting my stuff mom. With a few colorful words intermingled there. I tried to hold my tears back and keep her calm.

Here was this beautiful little girl of 5 before me. She was just a little bigger and a lot older now. To me she still was my baby. Her voice trembling. Repeating they can't do this to me.

How could I help her realize she had done this to herself. She was so angry I had to pull the trump card to calm her down and get her to give me her jewelry. I asked her. "April do you love me?" she said "Yes mom I do."

Then I asked her to be good and to calm down and cooperate with the officers so that I didn't have to worry about her being hurt.

She said she would and then tears began streaming down her face. That's when mine started too. One kiss as I felt our hot tears streaming down our faces as they touched. Then good bye.

I don't know when we will see her again. But DHS assured me that we would have visitation as soon as they got her settled in.

Even after all we have been through with her. All the emotional and physical stress it has caused our family, even though it has broken us financially and we will be paying on her court bills instead of owning a new vehicle the next six years, even so she is my daughter. God gave her to me and this broke my heart.

I had to admit I could not help her any more and allow her one more chance. I just have to trust that the DHS knows more than I do about how to help children with so many issues like my April.

From the moment the state allowed me to adopt her she has been my own baby girl in every since of the word. Adopted children may not grow in our womb but they grow in our hearts. I feel it is just as fertile and compassionate there as any other place in my body.

Giving a child you love up to out of home placement is the hardest thing on earth to do. So please keep good thoughts for my April that she will find her way in a more stable and safe environment.