I have yet another out-of-home placement to detail here. A 15 year old, very violent son of mine has been locked up at a youth detention facility due to several family violence charges. I have undoubtedly adopted some of the angriest kids on the planet it would appear.
This young man has had a couple of out-of-home placements already such as a respite placement for a month, a boy’s ranch for nine months, and YDC on three different occasions. Nothing has made an impact on his anger management issues yet.
I just received a call that he’d been placed on lockdown there, yet again, this time for his usual non-compliance, refusing today to attend their school…like a 15 year old should have a say in this issue? If you want to have an opinion son, I’d advise you to not break laws, and someday possibly lose your right to even vote your opinion in an election. He’s already had a felony theft conviction at age 13.
Two different wilderness programs have turned him down, who wants a violent boy on the premises with access to an axe? But my son’s violence is directed at me, the one who dared to love him, the one who would not back down nor quit. And he never makes threats or posturing movements towards me unless he has ascertained that at least several older brothers are there to stop him, then he gets the fight he was hankering for in the first place.
But he has put our family in harm’s way too many times, I’ve called the police, I’ve pressed charges, as have they, I’ve had him in therapy for years, I’ve had psychological and neuro-psychological evaluations done on him, and I’ve had the school psychometrist test him as well.
He has bombed out of regular school, home school, the ranch school and an alternative school. He’s quite simply running out of options.
But a program did accept him yesterday, and I feel encouraged once again. They’ve dealt with a good many juvenile delinquents, they’re equipped for his issues, and they have a great deal to offer him through therapeutic intervention and physical activity. I was impressed with everyone on the interview committee, and the facilities were favorable since I like dirt roads and the great outdoors.
He should be moved from YDC to the wilderness program within the next week.
I have had several children, 3 out of 39, over the years be totally unable to live within a family environment without hurting themselves or others. It hurts my pride, on some level, that I’m unable to meet their needs, but some of my children have been severely damaged by what they’ve been through prior to joining our family.
They still have us as family however. They have a home to come visit, a family to attend their therapy sessions there, and a family that wants them to get well and come home; they have family motivation and incentive to improve. They have birth siblings within our family that are particularly invested in these situations, deeply desiring and needing to see the progress that does eventually come.