Adjusting to a new family is very difficult for most of the children who move through the system into adoption.

Dealing with the loss of their most precious loved ones such as mom, dad and siblings. Is never easy.
Many people compare this to a greater level such as death of a loved one. So there has to be a grieving process.

As with any loss in our life we must learn healthy grieving, healing, rebuilding and adjustments in life.

What makes it difficult is that the children are moved from one place to another in most cases while they are in the grieving process. This slows down the healing and forces the issues of adjusting, without the opportunity for rebuilding of vital relationships and family ties.

So lets talk about time. How much time do we allow a child to grieve. How much time do we allow ourselves to grieve when we experience a great loss?

There is no set limit to when a child will move from each stage. We would consider a pre adoptive placement as a healing station. Where everyone is introduced to one another and they being to talk and build family and friendship ties.

Through the adoptive stages which can take equally a long period of time in most cases. This allows the child to move deeper into the healing stage.

When the final adoption is complete and there are no more questions of the child ever being moved away from the new family. A time for rebuilding begins. Rebuilding a parent child relationship.
Rebuilding of trust and finally allowing love to begin growing.

Not until all these stages are complete will the child and family members really be able to address the reality of adjustment.

So let's examine Adjustment Therapy. There are a few different types of Adjustment Therapy one is
Perceptual Adjustment Therapy. PAT concentrates on
using a child's early memories as a road map. My red flag goes up just at the thought of using a child's early memories as a basis to find out how they perceive life. Or to expect this to even be a positive approach to adjusting to their new home life.

PAT is used mostly with addiction patients. Where the child has had a happy home life and can recall the good memories and then apply them to adjusting to a new life without drugs as a road to reaching back to the past and adjusting to new family life.
This may in fact work for the most part but I do not think it has a place in adjustment issues with adoptive children.

I found this web site to be very informative and valuable to me in my research on Adjustment Therapy
http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/adjustment.html#Definition.

It identifies and defines the issue as: Adjustment Disorder is an abnormal and excessive reaction to an identifiable life stressor. The reaction is severe and excessive compared with what would normally be expected to such stressors, and, or, results in impaired functioning.

Depression and anxiety are often symptoms of the devastation the child feels in life. The child may also suffer from physical pain as well as emotional pain. The child may experience symptoms of trembling or twitching, Agitation, Insomnia, as well as conduct issues.

Now that we know what Adjustment Disorder is and why there is need for Adjustment Therapy in children of adoption. Lets talk about treatment.

After the child is safely placed into a new home and the adoption is complete. Healing has begun and Readjusting has started. The cause of the stressor is known and has been addressed through adoption. It is now time to treat the illness and symptoms.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/adjustment.html#Treatment states that: The primary goal of treatment is to relieve symptoms and help the person with achieving a level of functioning that is comparable to the person's level of functioning before the stressful event. Most mental health professionals recommend a form of psychosocial treatment for this disorder. Treatments include individual psychotherapy, family therapy, behavior therapy, and self-help groups. Realistic short-term goals should be made at the start of therapy, as the course of adjustment disorder is short-term in nature.

Now that we know where to begin. We make it a daily routine to help releave the stressor and to
evolve the child into a new life.

As the child makes new friends and finds their place in the new school. Things will begin to fall into place. It is a process upon a process and will take time and energy and positive reinforcement that they are in fact important to the Family Unit.

In many cases impatience grows and the "Just get over it" attitude tends to pop up in family discussions. This is when we need to realize people are vastly different and they will heal at different levels just as they will adjust in their own timing.

Just as I know a loving and kind word can always help when someone feels sad or depressed. I also know that to much sympathy can also harm a child.
There is such a fine line in parenting a child who is going through the cycles of Adjustment.

Proper placement is so important and is half the battle in helping both the new adoptive parents and the child to feel more at ease.

Talking with a child and asking them what they think is a good family, can help also. If they can tell you what they do not like in families such as yelling and fighting and lack of food or nutrition.
Is good information also. They are saying I know what this is like and I want life to be better. It kind of sets a goal for the new family unit.

Stay tuned for more insight in handling the Adjustment of your child. Good Ideas are always welcome.