Continued from Part 1
How does a mother attempt to parents children who’ve constantly been exposed to criminal activities? Children who’ve grown up with deceit as the norm, where stealing is a necessity for survival, at least in their convoluted thinking, what’s a parent to do?

I’d ignorantly expected all my children to just take a good long look around them, see that their needs would be met, understand that I’d cook dinner every night, get them up and ready for school, have their clothes laundered regularly and groceries always in the pantry. Heck anyone could see that’s the case around here.

Anyone but my traumatized children.

The stealing continued and still continues, but is has greatly lessened now with most of my children. They will still lie to me even when the truth is obvious, as if their lying words could make it so.

Some of my children have been on medications at times but medications have generally not been beneficial in our experience. It’s been more so that time has been on our side. The first five years of a placement always seemed to consist of me repeating, reiterating and reminding the children on a minute by minute basis of my very simple expectations.

Years of me providing consistency, love and nurturance but all that doesn’t lessen the primal pain that had been inflicted upon them earlier. Therapy has helped, as have sports and education, but the wounds are deep as is their seemingly uncontrollable urge to lash out way too often.

Obviously I can’t tell a parent how to prevent criminal behavior from recurring, I can only say how we’ve coped and tried to replace negative behaviors with positive ones over the years.

Several of my children have been locked up, not believing me about the rules and laws of our land, thinking they can either slide by undetected or they’ve been too lazy to do the right thing.

I’ve gone to court with most of them, not with some blatant repeat offenders, seemingly incorrigible at the moment, I’ve gone with them to Probation meetings, and I’ve found therapies and helped them find jobs to pay their fines and fees.

I’ve been greatly disheartened at times and I’ve seen total turnarounds also. I have a very firm belief that eventually all of my children will make the grade, they’ll live productively; I just know it won’t come easily.