There are many wonderful and fully experienced Foster/Adoptive Parents out there today. They have brought adoption to the for front and they have helped many children on their way to a better life.

It is not them that I need to talk to. It is the new couples out there looking for that first little face to call their own. The ones with the rose colored glasses on and thinking the world is going to be so much nicer for them when a child is in it.

We all begin that way. The Agencies know this. As seasoned Foster parents we know when the signs are there that a child is Class 3. So we have the knowledge to turn the agency down. Shame on us.
That just makes it more of a burden for the Agency to find placement for the child and they end up putting a known Class 3 child into the home of new Foster Parents.

I know this to be truth. It happened to me. My husband and I were out to "Save the Children." We ended up needing someone to save us.

We went from one foster son to four kids in less than one week. Three of which were class 3 but not yet diagnosed as such. One of which was a class 2.
Oh yes, the Agency answered my questions. But we just didn't know what questions to ask then.

I had been brought up in a loving home with 2 very wonderful parents. They provided us with a decent life. We never had much money left over but we did have all the things that a child needs to live a happy life.

I had been taught never to give up. To ask God to help when we felt small and unable to accomplish the tasks at hand.

So when I found out what each child's diagnosis was I read everything I could on it and I took every parenting class they had to offer.

I felt so much compassion for my kids that I did everything. I cooked for them, I cleaned the house and their rooms, I washed clothes. I was super mom.
That lasted about four years and then I realized I was gone. I lived for this family. I needed to find out who I was again and fast.

So I started making the kids do chores. They sucked at it too. The more they sucked the more I did them. So they were smart kids.

In every conflict they used their past as a crutch.
Until one day I just said, "It's time to put that to rest." They were in a good loving home. The were not being abused. They in fact were abusing me.

I never got any sleep from being up all night trying to keep them from running from room to room.
I know they had been abused at night but after four years it was time to get past it. I know that the abuse revisits them in dreams and in stressful times in life. But not every night.

As a family we had a lot of learning to do. I guess my first reality check was when I first saw the pictures.

We had just sat down to diner and my family had something to tell me. I just didn't think it was going to be "Incest.".......................