My issues with blame.

Wow I was a stay at home mom. So I blamed myself.
I should have heard them. I should have missed the camera. I should have not allowed them up stairs alone. There were all these I should not of issues.

I just could not shake it. So every time those two went off anywhere together I was a mess. Believe me they were always sneaking off together too.

We would tell them over and over not to go off together, we would ground them for it and they kept right on doing it.

Trying to keep them from re offending each other we decided to move. To find a house where we could have our son on the first floor and the girls on the second floor.

So right before 9/11 we put our home on the market.
We had already found our new home so we were making two mortgage payments each month. As you know sales dropped down after 9/11 and our home did not sell for 17 months. So we almost went bankrupt trying to feed six people and pay two mortgages.

The living quarters did give us some ability to set the incest behind us. Especially since there was a door to the upper floor of the house where the girls slept. We could hear if someone was coming down or going up.

It took us years to put the incest behind us. I don't think we ever really forgot. We just lived with our worry.

Joe expressed several concerns for re offending.
Even to this day I do not trust him. I would not allow him to stay at our home again or ever be alone with his little sister Angela.

I have my reasons but that's another completely separate issue than incest.

My caution is to every person Foster Caring or Adopting Sexually Abused Children. There is a very high possibility that the child will act out sexually and or re offend another child.

Teaching healthy masturbation can lower the chances of a child re offending. It is not a comfortable subject to talk about but putting a lock on the door of the child's room and allowing them personal time is much better than seeing the child become permiscuious or seeing them offend another child.

Healthy talk about correct sexual issues is another way to reinforce good sexual behaviors. Teaching what is right from wrong. What is a good touch and what is a bad touch.

Continued therapy even when they resist is also a good idea. They can't afford to forget. They can however forgive.

So think before you choose a child who has been damaged by sexual abuse. Maybe if you are called to work with sexually abused kids you might choose to specialize in that area and not take other children into your home.

We never took anymore children until Joe was out of our home and on his own. Except Angela. She slept in our room in a toddler bed until she was five and he was out on his own.

She has always had her own room even with April in our home. It was just to much of a price to pay for us to allow her to be touched by any kind of abuse. For that we will never be sorry.