Some times people have cold hearts towards children in the family who have been adopted.

Over the years we have watched as our relatives had made obvious differences between our children and their other biological grand children. Until this week we did not think it could get any more hurtful for our kids and for us as adoptive parents.

My husbands grandmother died. She was 88 and fairly comfortable in life. So an inheritance was expected for all the grand children.

When her will was read. She had not mentioned any of our children. It was obvious she did not consider them "family" and that hurt us. She had left each grand child from her biological line a small inheritance. So once again the difference had been made.

I guess my husband is more of a forgiving soul than I am. I really was hurt by her not even mentioning even our youngest daughter whom we have head since she was 8 days old.

When my parents died my step sisters were given just as much as my brother and I were. He never made a difference in any of us kids. He considered all of us as his family.

So I guess I just thought that every one would be that way. I guess with out first hand experience people just do not understand adopted families.

I have always tried to treat all our nieces and nephews fairly. I told my husband that maybe my frame of mind needs to change and I need to start keeping what I have for my own kids because they have made it clear that our children are not blood and will not inherit anything from grandparents.

I let my kids know that they were left out. I did not want them to feel obligated to go visit people and be courteous to people who did not count them as family.

Our kids treated my husbands grandmother with great respect and better than her other grand children treated her.

My husband feels I am wrong for even telling the kids they were left out. But I feel they have a right to know they are young adults. What do you think? How do you handle situations where your children are left on the side lines and not even considered as family?

Maybe through my hurt feelings I am wrong. But I just don't think my children need to go around people who make the difference and their actions do not include them as family members. Am I wrong?