“If you are having this much trouble, how can there be hope for any of the rest of us? You need to keep taking care of everyone Cindy, including yourself, there's no one else out there willing to do it for you.”

This was a comment from yesterday and I have to say that this happens especially to adoptive parents like me.

Adopting troubled children, children with emotionally troubling diagnoses is akin to bringing a rabid pit bull into one’s home. They will bite someone sometime.

My children were not taught morals, manners, ethics, values or good behavior before they joined our family. Some were literally street children, raised almost as feral children between Juarez and El Paso. They were literally non-housebroken. I don’t mean to be ugly and I’m not comparing them to dogs.

They are lovely human beings who were treated like dogs years ago and they still often bite the hand that feeds them, they often lash out at me, I’m the one that it seems “safe” to do so.

One of these five is the one now in a psychiatric facility as it is no longer safe for me, or others, if he is here.

So since he has accused me, I am being investigated in spite of the fact that I have mandated reporters such as teachers, therapists, social workers, psychologists and others in my home on a daily basis.

However I still now feel violated, disbelieved and disheartened by recent events. My children feel emotionally threatened and have reacted as such by alternately clinging to me or raging over nothing. Negative behaviors that had all but disappeared in many of my children have returned. A thunderstorm brought everyone scampering to my side.

My commenter above is right on the money. No one, including those who are not believing me, would be either able or willing to live as I do year and after year with no break. I view it as who I am. I am my kid’s parent and although it is often frustrating, this is no different than if I’d birthed my children. No one would wonder at my commitment if these were birth children, why should they suspect my motives on adopted children?

I am held to a much higher, supremely different standard than other parents. I’ve been fingerprinted and had background checks over and over, references, and home studies. I go overboard each morning, making sure that my sons wear collared shirts, that everyone eats breakfast, and leaves for school on time. I cook dinner every night, oversee homework and wash laundry constantly.

Other mothers can stop at a convenience store for a breakfast of coke and crackers and no one criticizes them, or even McDonalds while I stay here and bake trays of cinnamon toast which, to me, is easier than waiting in line somewhere.

I chose this life. I’m where I am due to my choices to adopt my children. I knew it would be hard work. I thrive on hard work.

My seventh grade daughter just called, second morning in a row that she’s left something at home. Should I take it to her and enable her to be forgetful? Should I allow her to suffer the teacher’s consequences for not doing as told? Will I be criticized either way?

Yes.