One of my teenage daughters, who’ll turn 17 this summer, is wanting to like a guy in her school. I’m not so sure that this is a good idea for many, many reasons. I discourage dating in teenagers, I prefer that they wait until their college years or over age 18, as the emotional maturity level in older adopted children is not what it should be.

Often appearing older than their years, living with them and seeing their emotional neediness is another story.

I prefer that my kids participate in church youth group events, sports, school functions and family activities. There is so much emotional healing that is needed; this type of healing is not found in dating but rather in solid family relationships where they learn that they are worth parenting, something they’d previously lacked.

Looking around at the elementary school today, watching all the awards going to very deserving kids, over-achievers from strong families, I was proud that my children had also done right well. It may sound elitist for me to prefer for my children to go to this type school, but who’d want them in a drug infested, high dropout rate school system? And how elitist can I be when we live down a dirt road wearing second hand clothes?

Ruben Gonzalez, motivational speaker extraordinaire, suggests,

“Who you surround yourself with will determine how far you go. When these people believe in you, you will begin to believe it too.”

I’ll buy that. And that’s my precept in disallowing a 16 year old, with major mama issues, to make possibly life-altering decisions in dating someone that I’m not convinced would be a good choice.

And, of course, I hear the, “Mama, that’s so old school.” But their opinions regarding my cool factor doesn’t carry any weight around here.

I may not be cool but I’m fairly intelligent and definitely over-protective because I care and I rule the school. I make the decisions.

This young daughter of mine needs to spend her short time that’s left as a youngster in a family learning life skills, working on her academics, finding a job and learning about money management. She needs to spend time with her family and her siblings, to grow strong emotionally, and to get some maturity before she’s faced with dating pressures and struggles.

In many ways, she’s inwardly screaming for me to stop her, for me to be her reason to say no to guys right now. She’ll even admit this in some of her weaker moments.