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I meet people who confide in me, “I’ve always wanted a large family,” or “If something ever happened to my so and so, I’d have as many children as you have.”
I have mixed feelings about my own family. On the one hand I absolutely love everything about being the mom of 39 children; on the other hand I absolutely hate the dumb questions that come my way.
Who do you think does all the cooking? Do you really think we can afford outside help?
If you want a large family all it takes it the adoption of just one or two sibling groups. In our case I adopted eight siblings groups plus three grandchildren and a lone daughter along the way spread out over twenty years.
I’ve not adopted in three years and will not adopt again. I feel as if my journey has taken a logical progression and part of that onward progress indicated a point in which I felt I should stop. Clear as a bell, after I agreed and was chosen for my last sibling group, I knew I was done and it felt very right to me.
I’d love to see other adoptive parents continue to adopt, especially older sibling groups as that’s where my heart remains. I’d love to learn of other parents who are willing to throw their heart and soul into this very difficult endeavor. The need for committed families remains huge.
I love the life I have now, no more home studies, more children grown than at home, 16 grandchildren already, and enough of my older children have graduated from college and married that I’m now enjoying the parental satisfaction that came with knowing they’d done so well. I remind myself of this often as some of my middle children and younger children are extremely challenging. I love getting older, I love being retired from my years in the public school system, and I really love it now that everyone can dress themselves finally.
But I do remain burdened when thinking about the millions of children worldwide who need families, I want to continue to encourage all of you out there who want to grow your families through adoption to please continue doing so.
I get thrilled now watching other families grow.
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Thanks Cindy — I follow your family blog and am amazed and inspired by your commitment to Momming some extremely challenging children of all ages . . . as well as those happy, attached, going-forward kids !! How many different sibling sets have you adopted?
I have been contemplating adopting again, and you really make me think about sibling groups. Theroretically a single child is “easier,” but I have never met a theoretical child, and it truly depends on his or her issues and willingness to work on building a LIFE of value. I can see where a sibling set could come with more — and less — issues. Your comments about older sibs who go on to set good (or not so) examples for younger sibs are very helpful. Ultimately I want my kids to be friends of the best kind, who help and enjoy one another, and challenge and confront when needed. Thanks for sharing your insights along the road. — Rachel
Rachel, Insight is about all I have left and it’s clouded at best by the demands around here. I think adopting sibling groups is the way to go. It’s not as likely that you’ll have a RAD kid, they’ve at least learned to attach to each other and in all our cases, they’ve been each other’s best emotional resource.
Cindy,
How do you get ready for all the children? I’m asking because my family is going from a family of THREE to a family of SEVEN, and honestly, yesterday I was so excited, and today… well today I don’t know where I’m going to put the kids and all the stuff they need. Where do I even start? How do I get ready to add four children to our family?