All the advice I’ve ever given my children, all the support, the opinions and the help has seemed old-fashioned. I make every thought and decision based on my personal Spiritual beliefs. I truly believe that one can’t go wrong following the Word of God.

I’ve never used situational ethics to advise my children, knowing that potential consequences could be devastating to them. There seems to be few grey areas to me, everything seems to have fairly clear cut solutions. Here’s what needs to be done.

I’m not going to dumb down what I stand for so that people will think I’m cool or that I’m trendy. I’m none of that.

I simply want the best for my children, not the second best; I believe that they deserve wonderful spouses, great homes to live in, satisfying careers, and their own beautiful children. I believe that all my children were God-given to me, that those that are now struggling with monumental shortcomings, I believe that they too will succeed in life. They’ll have a great story to tell, life experiences to share, and an overcomer’s testimony someday.

Just as I will never get a DUI since I don’t drink, nor will I struggle with drug problems since I rarely ever even take an aspirin, so also do I strongly believe that my wonderful children will make good choices. Don’t over spend and you won’t be in debt, don’t lie and you won’t have to cover your tracks. It all seems so simple to me.

I’ve never seen anyone succeed by either default or deceit; I’ve never seen crime pay and I’ve never seen anyone be happy from not acting right.

Taking the high road pays off eventually, bearing up under certain loads, and deferring gratification…all these “hard” ways are supremely beneficial, as is forgiveness and turning one’s cheek. Why be a hater? What would Jesus do? Let’s just all get along. Not pithy sayings, but good solid advice that rewards people, if only internally…but what more could one want?

My children usually already know what I’ll say before I say it. I’m predictable, I’m square and “out of touch with fads,” clueless maybe about contemporary fashions but very dependable.

I’m a rock, not a showpiece. Not flashy, but substantial.

When children have come out of chaos and confusion, it is nice to encounter structure and stability. I don’t make promises that I can’t keep, I don’t lie…what you see is what you get.

At times I’ve hunkered down within myself to keep from blurting out in retaliatory anger; I go outside and weed my gardens, spade dirt or stomp, all necessary physical outlets. I’ve slammed door and broken plates, I’ve stormed around when people have been hateful to me, but I’ve never disappeared past our 50 acres and never for more than an hour, look out the window at mama…I can hear y’all.

Some of my kids, 20 years later, making fun of me good-naturedly, it’s so easy to mimic consistency. What I am is who I am, simple and uncomplicated, my 20 year old son last night, choosing to sit close to me, saying nothing, but absorbing a mama’s love and concern…just because he knew that he could. Period, that’s all she wrote and that was all he needed…that assurance that he knew that he knew that he knew.