The twin dishwashers on either side of our industrial kitchen sink are exhausted, they’ve run about four times each day all summer as we’ve had very large numbers of people in and out of our house, eating constantly and filling up with water. Both dishwashers are literally breathless, I caught one G.E. Triton looking at the clock, calculating how many more hours until the kids went back to school. And yes, that’s my youngest daughter swimming in the sink, today it is 100 degrees, it’s likely 100% humidity as well, summers in Georgia are sweltering and I absolutely love it.

I once was told that you don’t really have fun unless you are sweating and this I believe. I’ll happily perspire like a pig all of August while the kids are in school, this will allow me unlimited mornings in the gardens, catching up on the work I’ve neglected for ten years as I’ve had babies and toddlers; ragers and soccer players filling up my schedule for so long. This is my first year that I’ll have a little breathing room with all my kids in school each day.

I’d no sooner caught sight of that bluebird of happiness and freedom when my adult day care responsibilities seem to loom before me as three grown sons have struggled to remain employed. I brought two of them to tears today when I verbally melted down over my own need for just two inches of breathing room and personal space. They hurriedly jumped in one car and jetted off to fill out job applications mumbling about mama’s menopausal moods.

Tomorrow is the Big Social Event in our lives: School Open House/Meet the Teachers, but really it is see all their friends and get giddy over school for a day or so. Reality will set in Wednesday morning when I’m hollering, “Rise and Shine!” all over the house to sleepy kids, befuddled at the end of their summer while it is still hot enough to fry enchiladas in the driveway.

My dance card however is quickly filling up, one son needing my truck so he can move, a daughter needing me to help with her son one day, meetings with my children’s therapists and with my children who are in out-of-home placements. I’ll need to weed, to can the jalapenos and tomatoes, to do the laundry, buy the groceries, wash the dishes, and keep up with their homework needs.

Just a few hours each day to be alone, something that has rarely happened to me in decades.