I adore this ability to link articles so easily, as I believe that parents who’ve adopted older children need a large amount of resources while we sail through such uncharted territory with surprises around every bend. We can usually say with confidence, “Wow! I sure didn’t see that coming!”

Not very reassuring I know, but certainly accurately truthful

In this months’ Fostering Families Today, Pat O’Brien writes about the adoptive family’s responsibility to bond with the child, that it is not the kid’s job to do so.

I agree, and I remember a family years ago, that gave up on a young boy who’d lived with them for years, saying that he didn’t bond like their three birth daughters had done. This young boy didn’t have any behavior problems, no mental diagnoses, he was simply, deeply afraid to bond. Can I hear a big DUH?

I remember grieving this family’s choice to quit after so many years.

Pat O’Brien is the founder and executive director of You Gotta Believe! The Older Child adoption and Permanency Movement. Explore his site for more encouragement, listen to his wonderful radio broadcast, and go to the FFT site to read this article in its entirety.

I was happy to read his theory “Be ASAP – As Silly As Possible. This has worked here many, many times. Cracking a joke to relieve the tension or the pressure cooker environment in which we live.

Children and youth love silliness. They love playfulness. They love to see their parents act silly and playful. It generates so much household laughter. Even those teenagers who seem not to appreciate anything appreciate it when adults in their lives act silly and playful. This relays to the youth that you are someone who might be a safe person – by going out on a limb, by taking the risk of embarrassing yourself by being playful and silly – you give the youth the message that you might even be someone worth the risk of bonding to.

I like that, yet another excuse for my own personal goofiness. I was born to be the mom of 21 sons, I truly think gassy moments are hilarious, burping contests amuse the snot out of me, and practical jokes are even funnier, even when I’m the butt of them.

I’d rather laugh than eat. I adore funny TV shows and movies, the stupider the better, like the entire Naked Gun series. I took my kids to see Happy Feet at the Dollar Theater last week, and I found it to be hilarious as did my kids, we’ve been acting it out for days.

My kids love to share jokes, riddles, funny stories and puns with me knowing I’ll crack up also. I’ve truly always deeply believed that a sense of humor is a major requirement in this world in which I live, and to see it validated by an expert gives me all the more ammo to keep on acting like I always have one foot on a banana peel.