At one time in our family’s endless journey towards normalcy, I had five or so kids on behavior contracts at school. Teachers willingly checked off some simple accomplishments like: 1) homework turned in, 2) not disruptive today in class, 3) had school supplies etc.

It served to keep the kids accountable and to help me see what needed to be worked on here at home. Nowadays we have Power School which I love. Within a few quick minutes I can see into the teacher’s grade book and attendance sheet, if there were any tardies and a fast click to email the teacher.

No more of this, “I did OK,” when I ask the kids about a test grade. I can see that it was a 68, that’s not OK to me.

We have a wonderful family therapist; we have two wonderful family therapists in reality, one on Thursday and one on Friday. They both come to our house and spend hours with the children and with me. I don’t always know how to handle some of the situations that I face and today Dr. Mandy set up a home behavior contract with my ten year old daughter.

This little girl is aggressive, a mean girl who lies and doesn’t accept responsibility for her negative actions. On her plus side she is not RAD and she is very pretty.

I had a psychological evaluation done on her last year, I need to know what I’m working with, she’s average and she’s capable. She’s great at sports, a soccer star, and a fast runner who’s not afraid of the ball or the opposing team.

Dr. Mandy set up a point system that I’m more than willing to work with along side of my daughter. She has very simple tasks and actions that will earn her points and a corresponding list of privileges that she can spend her points on. She chose the privileges and most of the tasks, she controls it somewhat, and can choose to earn more or do nothing and receive nothing.

I’ve already seen behavioral improvements as she’s now spent a couple of months in therapy with Dr. Mandy who backs up Mama’s stupid rules but provides a listening ear and explanations that eliminate, or at least lessen, the natural mother-daughter conflicts. Factor in the aggression and oppositional behaviors that accompany older angry kids in adoption and our conflicts had been escalating.

I’d love to see her get a handle on her hormonal emotions before she enters the middle school drama and angst. I’d like to see her work through her normal grief, her failure to understand much of her past and to differentiate between the two emotions of mad and sad.

I believe that with Dr. Mandy’s help, these goals can be accomplished.