I have a once very violent, angry son who has been in several lock-ups and therapeutic settings for nearly two years now. Visiting once a month, if he earns his home stay pass, has been pleasant as his homesickness for this family has finally overcome his old reluctance to be a part of anything.

In a month he will transition out of the program, not because he is cured but because they are a nine month program and feel that they’ve done all they can, what with their intensive 24-7 therapeutic environment.

We all agree he is better, but still dangerously unable to control his temper at times.

It is with a great deal of trepidation that I’m agreeing to have him return home. Not that I have any choice, I could be charged with abandonment if I refused to do so.

He’ll be 16 in January and he is a large, muscular young man now.

I wouldn’t bet a nickel for either way that this could turn out. On the one hand, I know there’s a decent chance that he will realize that his anger has cost him a great big chunk of his normal childhood. He claims that he now wants to attend public school, but I have my reservations as he’s failed several grades and is unmotivated in the academic area.

He is the middle child of seven birth siblings; the oldest three are now 17, 18 and 20 and have been very vocal in their disapproval of his poor choices. This bothers him way more than my own disappointment. He has three younger siblings, now 10, 12 and 14, who’d like nothing more than to see him succeed.

I’ll get him therapy, he’ll again be active in church, and there’s sports but I know from past experiences how easily he flies off the handle, how low his tolerance is for frustration yet his lack of reasoning abilities frustrates him all the more and he struggles with understanding the consequences of his negative behaviors.

This is going to be a tough couple of years for him but, as usual, I’m there for him. Finally he’s beginning to believe that about me.