I spent all day today again at the Outdoor Therapeutic Program with my 15 year old son. He’s there because of theft charges, probation violations and family violence charges. A couple of other camps turned him down, afraid of his violence, afraid he’d go after someone with an axe or something. He’s been a loose cannon, I understand their fears.

I spent many a night worrying over our own family safety, glad when the sun finally came up each day. We had plenty of visits from the sheriff and I filed charges, not wanting my son to escape the consequences of his actions.

He spent several months locked up in a juvenile detention center; I cannot begin to explain how much easier life was while he was not with us.

Today was a family conference time there; he lives in a tent-like structure, pictured here, with 8 other guys, all with varying issues and circumstances.

They each had to state their goals and tell the group if they were accomplishing them.

To a T, each boy blamed the counselors and each other, not a one of them accepting any responsibility for their own actions that resulted in constant consequences. Not a single kid understood that if they worked the system, there would then be rewards. This camp easily and quickly rewards good behavior knowing how short sighted these thug wannabees are.

Every kid had a mouthful of negativity to spew, bad attitudes and rude, slouchy behaviors. In contrast my own kid looked right good. He was told there, in the group, that they’d often seen leadership qualities in him, that he had such potential. He also has something that most of the other boys didn’t have and that is a supportive parent.

If I’d had this child since birth, instead of less than seven years, he would have escaped his trauma and been a star. There’s still a great chance for him to eventually pull it all together. He has an entire family that believes in him and sometimes, that’s all it takes to jump start self-esteem and to eliminate residual inadequacies.

I explained later to my son, in private, that I’d never seen a negative person succeed. He wanted to be oppositional and tell me that a mass murderer was successful in killing. How is that not a negative thing, son? How can you consider a convict in prison successful?

This is the kind of reasoning and lack of logic that I face, but slowly he’s learning that I am not backing down in my expectations of him and what I want for him such as a crime-free life and legitimate money in the bank someday.

I don’t have 21 sons like this; most of my boys are the usual rough and tumble, sticks, cars, and sports kind of guys. This one nefarious son is a challenge certainly and we’ve been fortunate to find him some help here within this program that I greatly respect. The counselors were tough, confrontational and effective; intelligent and insightful, patient and productive. Just what my son needs.