Most parents love to plan what they will name their child. It is a precious moment and should be taken into top consideration when adopting.

Children who are at a toddlers age or older are already accustomed to being called by their birth name. So in many cases it may be better to let that name remain your child's given name for his or her own best interests.

In the adoption of older children, the child sometimes wishes to change their name. My children went into a room with their therapist and came out the same small people but with different names.

We had already known them by their birth name for sixteen months. It was very hard for us to just begin calling them by a new first name. We negotiated and asked the kids to keep their own birth names and if they wanted to put a new first name on then that was ok too.

We had our reasons for this:

1.) They have 17 other siblings out there. They will be known by their birth names by these siblings. It will help in finding them one day.

2.) Part of over coming the fear of the past was to live past the fear and not hide from it. They needed to be who they are without worry.

3.) It sure cuts back on confusion for teachers, parents, doctors and you name it.

4.) Their names were special and very beautiful.
We felt no desire to make them change their name.

The children chose to take a new name at the request of the therapist because:

1.) They could.

2.) It was fun.

3.) It would keep them safe from the past.

4.) It was something they could choose to do without anyone else's permission.

Yes it is nice to give your baby a name. Some adopted parents have adopted children whom have not been named by the parent or who are young enough not to even acknowledge a name. In those cases I think that should be left up to the new mom or dad.

However for us who are out there and our kids have established names. With or Without Open Adoptions.
It is just normal to think before you change a child's name.

Comments are always welcome.