As a follow up to yesterdays report on Child Sexual Abuse. I would like to talk about what kind of things as parents you can do to encourage appropriate sexual behaviors with your children.

Open communication is very important especially when we are dealing with children who have suffered child abuse of any form.

Learning to talk about how they feel opens doors to them for healing. The first step to a positive life is learning to heal by dealing with the tough issues in life.

With children who have been exposed to sexuality in a negative form at a young age. They often do not know what is considered the correct behavior.
Since they will be way beyond what is age appropriate it often makes parents feel strange to discuss such extensive sexual things with younger kids.

So before you decide to talk to your child it might be good to research what is age appropriate behaviors. Then bend the discussion to include what has happened to the child. Let them talk to you. Let them tell you what is comfortable for them to share.

With each discussion they will feel safer to share more details and issues that they may need clarified to them.

We know the facts that no one but your parent or doctor is allowed to touch you in the "No Touch" zones. Parents and doctors will only touch there if there is a medical concern or a reason to teach cleansing.

So a conversation about appropriate touching is called for at a very young age. Teaching the difference between a good hug and one that is not appropriate is also a good idea.

Letting a child know that they can tell you anything and that you will be calm and talk with them about it is good too.

A child who has been abused will have all the awakenings of their sexuality early and they may be tempted to experiment. That is why supervision and good talks about what is except able behavior and what is not is very important.

You do not want your child to re offend another child
only because they do not know that what happened to them is not normal behaviors.

A couple of good web sites are out there to help educate us as parents.

https://www.healthforums.com/library/1,1258,article~9472,00.html
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/child_behavior/sexdev.html

Don't be afraid to approach the needed subjects.
The more information you provide to your child about what is good and bad about touching. Will help them make better decisions in life.

It will also help your child grow into a healthy adult that can handle relationships and not carry all the emotional taboos forward with them into adult life.

Of course they will live with the abuse for a life time but it is possible to go on and have normal good relationships as they grow with knowledge and emotional values.

It is also good to review self esteem builders for younger children who have been abused. Helping them to feel better about themselves will help them become safe and well adapted in your home.