The Cutie in this picture belongs to me. He is my 2 year old grandson Devin. Even at this tender age he is loaded with social skills. He flirts with people and wins them with his smile and his silly tactics.

However his Auntie April is not like him. She has problems with her social skills and she does not keep friends very well. She does not have trouble making friends. It is just her process of being a friend and learning to keep a friendship growing that she has trouble with.

This is a pretty normal reality for some adopted and foster children. They move from place to place and home to home. Their skills to adapt and to bond with new people get a little lost in all the constant moving.

So it is likely to take time for them to settle down and learn to make good friends again once they are somewhat stable.

You may ask how we can help these kids learn to cope and how to make friends of quality that they will want to keep in their life?

First we must teach them to pick friends whom they find interesting and think they can learn from. Someone that they admire and feel comfortable with.
Or someone they feel they can be helpful to.

Second we must teach them the various ways to communicate. Such as talking at school, church or neighborhood events. Calling each other on the phone. Having a sleep over night. Going bowling, bike riding or hanging out at the mall. Writing letters and taking pictures. All of this is part of learning to communicate. It helps the child stay active and keep friendships alive.

Third we must teach them how to listen and be considerate to the other persons feelings. How to nurture and give of themselves at times. So they learn how to keep a long and enduring friendship with a person.

Teaching your children a lot of people skills is a good thing. Teaching them how to discern people is also a good thing. So they learn to choose their friends wisely.

If your child is in therapy this is another person who can help you work on Social Skills with your child.

Reading books about other kids with issues of social skills can help also. Through reading they can picture themselves in the situation and feel with the character. They will also learn to distinguish good decisions from bad decisions with the character.
Reading can open up a whole new world to your child.

However, do not force the issue of friendship on your child. If they do not want to pursue friendship with a person do not make them. Let them learn to make such decisions on their own. It will take a few hard learned lessons for them to get things on the right track.

Last but not least....try and be supportive of your child and encourage them to try. Negative words only cloud the child's mind and make them more inward.
Encouraging words will make them want to go out and explore life in their own new town.

Anyone else out there with a good comment or story to share...we would love to hear from you. Until then.....be safe and make friends.