When considering adoption, there are so many things going on with paperwork and questions that some of the most important things are not given the time needed to make a good choice. There a hundreds of children out there needing homes, but that does not mean you just get the next one in line. It is important to think about what kind of child will fit into your life and family.

Sometimes we do not know we can say "No, we don't want a child with emotional issues or RAD or ADHD;" "No, we cannot care for a handicapped child;" or "Yes, I have experience in dealing with children with issues and would like to have one placed in my home."

If you have a pretty normal family and a child with ODD is placed in your home or one that has Bipolar Disorder, it can turn your life upside down, so it is very important to be honest and speak up to your adoption placement worker so she can make the right choices for you.

My husband and I were so naive, we took what they gave us. We were up around the clock with the kids because they had sleeping issues due to the abuse they had been put through in the birth home and the other foster care homes.

We felt if we asked for the kids to be moved it would reflect on us as Foster Parents and we hung in there. We actually became very good at parenting them, but boy we were blind going into it all.

The agency didn't give any good information to warn us either. They had such a hard time placing these kids that they tried to tell us as little as possible and we didn't know the right questions to ask. So "suckers" must have been tattooed on our foreheads.

I think we really surprised them when we decided to adopt the kids. After having them for 11 months and learning how hard life had been for them, we loved them. We watched each one blossom into a real kid. They watched us blossom into real parents. I don't think we could imagine life without them.

Yeah it has been a long difficult road. But I wouldn't trade our experiences for anything. They say that which does not kill you, makes you strong. Well it almost killed me but now I'm a lot stronger.

I feel like a real mom when I hear them complain about me. Mom won't let me do this or that. It tells me I am doing something right. If your kids don't like you all the time it's a good sign. (smile)

As they get older and they are out living their own lives, we parents still worry. But you know you gave it your best and God can do the rest. It is moments like this that you miss the little people they once were. As I walk through the house into each room and check on my other two daughters, I miss the presence of my son and my oldest daughter.

I am just grateful that God took a bad experience and turned it into a lifelong journey of love and adoration. I still pray for the birth parents of my children for without them I would not be so blessed.

I hope one day they straighten their lives out and get to know the wonderful people they brought into this world. The drugs and alcohol have stolen such precious years from them. If ever the birth mom comes to our door like their birth father has before, we have a photo album of all the years she missed out on placed away with her name on it.

I hope one day we can place it in her hands. But until then, I will just say "Thank You" to all the other birth moms that have placed their child with adoptive parents for whatever reasons. Through your gift of love and life, those of us who are barren are truly blessed.