Continued From Part One

We were just home from church, I hadn’t even gotten lunch on the table, nothing really precipitated this, and nothing ever does.

I’ve been documenting his threats over the last year, I’d printed out some blogs detailing his rages, and I had several psych evals in a folder, done three times over a ten year span, as a lot of professionals have tried to determine what his issues are. I had everything right there in one place and fortunately grabbed it as we went. I wish I’d taken a book to read as it turned out to be a long, long day.

Seven hours later, he was committed; I was taken seriously by the staff as I was very matter-of-fact, and verbally backed up by two other sons who were frightened and concerned.

They told me when mothers come in all hysterical and not making sense (which is truly how I felt on the inside) then they are not so quick to recommend hospitalization. I asked them if they could guarantee our safety, and did they feel OK with allowing me to take this obviously disturbed child back home? They’d called for a police escort there in the emergency room; they saw the fire in his eyes and heard his unintelligible mutterings.

I’d used a highlighter to make it easier for other psychiatrists to quickly read through major issues: anger, aggression, tantrums, rages, brief psychotic disorder, reports of threats to school personnel, acute stress disorder, PTSD, personality change secondary to a brain dysfunction, running away, police called to school, poor ability to sustain frustration, disruptive behavior disorder, lies constantly, depressive disorder and so on and so on – this all in 2001 before I adopted him.

Yes I knew all this, he was only seven then, I also adopted his issue-ridden siblings. Two have become stars in our family; two others are quite difficult, but are trying to improve five years after moving in.

Jose is not RAD, he’s very attached to his siblings and even to me when he doesn’t express and feel his murderous thoughts. He’s just deeply disturbed and I have no illusions that we’ll get answers or make much progress with this latest intervention.

This is a long, slow process that sometimes yields results and sometimes doesn’t, because it can’t. Sometimes we are just dealing with mental illnesses for which there are no cures and no healing. Worse yet disintegration of a personality occurs. It is heartbreaking and tonight his siblings are struggling both with relief and with deep worry.

I apologize for not linking all the issues listed above. It’s late and I just wanted to pour this out right now. I’ve written before about our life and dealing with his issues here in another post.