I received a comment from a self-proclaimed newbie regarding the horror stories she’s heard about adoption. That concerns me as I know I am part of the contingent relating the problems. I’d like to point out that I’m doing so only to encourage other folks like me to continue with what we chose to do. It’s a difficult job but a gratifying blessing overall.

This lady is also facing an adventure, her possibilities, at this moment, are endless and exciting. To me there’s nothing more rewarding than nurturing children and watching them succeed in life. Maybe in my case, in the adoption of older children, it is all the more rewarding because they have overcome so many obstacles. I kind of envy her actually as I am now way past that stage in my life, at almost 53 years old with my 39 children.

I’m working with an “expectant” but very experienced family that’s reading the case studies of a hard-to-place older sibling group right now.

My own adoption worker here, the best in the business and herself an adoptive parent, advised me back then to read every single word, read between the lines and highlight what I wanted to question their worker about, and to make sure that I understood each issue presented therein, reminding me that many other issues would later present themselves as the kids grew up. What an understatement.

I’d also advise other prospective parents to question the foster parents, they are the ones living with the children, and they are often the best resource. In nearly all my adoptions they gave me the best information, explaining how they’d dealt with the children and what challenges they’d faced.

The lady who’d commented to me is looking at international adoption, something I’ve not experienced since 20 years ago when I adopted from Honduras. Everything has changed since then, I’d advise reading the blogs of those now involved in the process.

It is also critically important to consider the children one might already have in one’s family. Don’t dismiss their fears and concerns, to the best of one’s ability please take time to reflect and to ponder how any additions to your family will affects the other members. Don’t underestimate the impact this will have upon your existing family as it will be tremendous and everlasting.

Enter into the adoption process with the joy you know this is going to bring to you.

An aside: The picture above is of the consternation displayed by my son who realized we’d finished both bottles at one meal.