Should I have done anything differently? Should I have paid more attention to the adoption checklists as to what issues I felt I could parent? I’ve always thought that I’d been pretty clear in my comprehension and understanding of issues. I’ve avoided several such as pet abusers, fire starters and children who are documented as those who sexually act out.

No surprise there, as those issues all scare me, I feel substantially unqualified to parent those.

I’ve also chosen to not deal with medical issues as I’m terribly squeamish, not a good thing when one has 21 rough and tumble sons.

What I’m really discovering is that as I provide security and stability, a sense of normalcy, psychological evaluations and resources; the presenting behaviors in children start to indicate the true and heretofore undiagnosed problems.

I may now be dealing with a case of Asperger’s Syndrome.

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently.

Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".

By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying.

I have a 12 year old, Texas CPS had labeled him Level of Care III (back then), and I met with a psychiatrist there in El Paso who held a very strong opinion that this kid wasn’t all there.

He is indeed very odd; testing at a high school level in mathematics, everything else is a battle. EVERYTHING ELSE.

What will I do? What do I do? I don’t know, I’m bumbling through, hunting resources for him, he’s in therapy, and he’s been tested and evaluated. He is certainly in his own little world; sometimes he lets us in, usually not, preferring the insects, the rocks, the creeks and the woods outside for company.

This is new to me; stay tuned as we learn to cope with it.