Theresa wrote about her difficult Mother’s Day experiences, reminding me that my second most dreaded holiday is approaching.

Christmas is usually the most difficult for us, besides the blatant commercialism and the unbelievable media derived expectations, we have the adopted children syndrome in which the kids go bonkers reliving past Christmases in their minds, usually not pleasant memories as their birth parents were drunk or doing drugs, neglecting and simply not being there for the children, a portion of the many reasons involved in the termination of parental rights.

So here comes Mother’s Day. Opening every healed over emotional scab, torturing the children with their internal “what ifs?” and she’s not my real Mama issues.

I have zero expectations for Mother’s Day. I put my foot down, years ago and made a ‘no presents’ rule for several reasons. Number one is I don’t want anything; I’m as unmaterialistic as they come, and I dislike my children spending money on me when they have bills to pay and their own children to provide for each day.

Now that many of my grown kids are parents themselves, I’d rather that they just celebrate Mother’s Day with their own wives and husbands.

If we have a Sunday dinner, then I can’t work in the garden which is the best gift anyone could give me…time and horticultural therapy. Obviously going out to dinner is not a possibility with 39 children, 12 grandchildren and all the in-laws.

I proclaim loudly around here that every day is Mother’s Day. I don’t want dorky corsages, I grow my own flowers by the acres, and I just want peace in my life.

Presents have too many meanings, as I noticed my older children, years ago, trying in vain to express their gratitude to me for adopting them and their siblings. Short of millions of dollars, there’s no way to “repay” someone for family life, don’t even try.

I did all this out of love, not to be repaid. Birth children don’t feel that need, I’d rather my adopted children not feel the need either, just appreciate it verbally if you must, I like a little positive feedback at times, but this going all out for a Hallmark day is a little out of control.

Telling me they love me each day when we talk on the phone, or when they come by to visit, that’s more than enough for me. Many of my children have given me beautiful grandbabies that they’re raising right, that too is enough for me, breaking that generational curse that they labored under for so long.

I’ve already felt blessed each day and I publicly thank them for that. I don’t need another media induced frenzy that puts undue pressures on my children.

I repeat, and I stress, every day is Mother’s Day.