“As little as one drink a day can increase the odds for low birth weight and raise your child's risk for problems with learning, speech, attention span, language, and hyperactivity. And some research has shown that expectant moms who have as little as one drink per week are more likely than nondrinkers to have children who later exhibit aggressive and delinquent behavior.”

My children, especially in the last decade, with more paperwork and documentation involved, have come out of the system with Fetal Alcohol Effects, at the very least.

I would read their case paperwork carefully, highlighting areas that I’d question the workers about, in my attempts to ensure that I would be able to find the necessary resources to help them get through childhood, adolescence and school.

Of course, there is no way to be totally prepared for the issues that evolve, especially those that spring from the damage done in utero, how can it be either measured or predicted?

“And babies exposed to alcohol in utero — even if they don't have full-blown FAS — may still be born with some of these birth defects or later exhibit a number of mental, physical, or behavioral problems.”

One can find FAE and FAS information everywhere, regarding what causes it, and it is nearly a new research area, it is ephemeral in nature; tough to pinpoint, especially FAE, but it is obvious to the adoptive parent that something isn’t quite right.

The incidence of fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) is increasing, even though it is 100% preventable. This frustrates me immensely, as it indicates a range, a variety, indeed a continuum, of ailments or syndromes, making diagnoses all the more elusive.

There are a great many position papers on the subject, blogs dedicated to parenting children of FAE and FAS, yet I’m just blurting out personal experience information here, how this insidious disorder seeps into the lives of nearly every child adopted from the foster care system, my own unsubstantiated opinion, as I observe, and work, with my children.

It is very safe to say that alcohol and drug abuse was involved in CPS reasoning for removal and termination of parental rights.

There are many signs and symptoms, I only included the ones that are prevalent within my family, thankfully we fall into FAE, rather than FAS.

• low birth weight
• poor coordination/fine motor skills
• poor socialization skills, such as difficulty building and maintaining friendships and relating to groups
• lack of imagination or curiosity
• learning difficulties, including poor memory, inability to understand concepts such as time and money, poor language comprehension, poor problem-solving skills
• behavioral problems, including hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, social withdrawal, stubbornness, impulsiveness, and anxiety

So, it’s obvious we have a problem, what’s the solution? And combine the above symptoms with the trauma issues; no wonder my children can be difficult.

I cannot give solutions as I don’t have them, FAE and FAS are irreversible, that is documented.

I believe that I can give hope however, in that I do have grown children who’ve overcome their initial labeled disabilities and have become high functioning adults. I am grasping at the contributing factors now, if I had definitive ones, I’d share them, but these are guesses from my gut, born from our experiences.

We found resources, alternative school situations, therapies, stability, church involvement, security, my own stubbornness, hopefulness and positive expectancies that seemed to have re-birthed once negatively labeled children… years and years of commitment, heartbreak, joy and rewards.

It’s not been easy.