My daughter, Monica, now married and expecting her first baby in late July, does not look 23 years old. Adopted as the baby, but then age 7, of a sibling group of four children 16 years ago, she’d been diagnosed with Failure To Thrive Syndrome.

She’d come into our family physically tiny, weighing only 30 pounds, it took me years to add weight on her. She ate like a trucker, a prodigious amount of food seemed to go into her mouth for a decade, yet she remained stubbornly miniscule for the longest time.

I’m a whole foods kind of person, careful about the quality of food that my children consume, growing much of what we eat, and I’m a vegetarian as well, raising my children the same.

Monica used food to rebel against me in her late teens. Moving out at age 20, she chose to pig out on junk food constantly; her weight soared unhealthily in response.

Not a one of us, in this huge family, dogged her once about her weight, unusual for us as we are all so opinionated and bossy. When she came over yesterday to show her ultrasound pictures, I finally had to say something, she’s eating for two now, it isn’t about her anymore.

She knows how to eat right, that’s how I raised her. Being weighed on the doctor’s scale seemed to shock her; she was open and interested in prenatal nutrition, her husband as well. Feeding them spinach quesadillas, Monica bemoaned my famous
pinto beans, “that’s what I miss the most, Mama,” she’d stated.

I often hear more astonished remarks about our vegetarianism than about the size of our family. “You cook for all these kids?” I’m often asked, making me bite my tongue to keep from blurting some smart mouth reply. DUH! You think we could afford take-out?

Feeding my kids in a healthy manner is second nature to me, I want to be healthy as well, I desire to live a long life and enjoy my grandchildren…my rewards for raising difficult, traumatized children from the system.

Big Mama’s Pinto Beans

12 pounds of dried beans, soaked overnight, with jalapenos, garlic, taco seasonings, or whatever spices I have on hand.

Boil for an hour or so, sometimes two, the next afternoon. Run through a food processor, adding water, to make a paste, pour into a very large stainless steel bowl.

Use for nachos, quesadillas, burritos, tacos, or simply plain in a bowl, or fry them up with eggs for breakfast.