A crisis in a normal family causes all sorts of stress and concern, in a large adoptive family, such as ours, everyone immediately seems to be on guard; wary with raised hackles.

All of my children and grandchildren, with their finely tuned radars, always seem to be on edge anyway, fearing their world could collapse once again. Years of observing me deal with every fly ball hit my way, has helped them all learn coping skills but, more importantly, to learn to trust an adult to have their best interests at heart.

My grandchildren are obviously way more emotionally secure than my children, but yesterday, four of them were unglued as it was their mom, my daughter, who was put in the hospital. Pregnant with her fifth child, ordered on bed rest. Her dependable husband, working full-time as a sheetrock finishing contractor, is also carrying both his and her weight on the home front.

She’s spoiled her entire family in a great way, she’s been a stay-at-home mom for twelve years, cooks wonderful meals, volunteers at their school, and tends beautifully to her children; which makes her absence all the more noticeable these two days.

I’m nervous as a cat, skittish over this whole event, and my stress is etched on my face. “Calm down, Mama,” suggested my older son, “sit down and eat.”

Yeah, like that’ll help. I can’t digest and fret at the same time; I need to stay busy, hyperactive even, as it helps me to cope when matters are clearly out of my hands.

We made it through last night, no middle of the night emergency calls, and the oldest children who live with me had sat down to decide who’d cover which bases should Mama be called away.

This morning I’ve texted some good reports to those same three kids, ages 16, 17 and 19 who’d planned to help, their relief palpable that yet another crisis has been adverted, or postponed maybe.

In their former birth families, a crisis would mean drunken rages or beatings, someone possibly leaving for good, and their worlds turned upside down again; police and caseworker involvement, and maybe another stay in foster care, siblings separated.

Family problems and crises are inevitable; I need to teach my children how to navigate the struggles successfully, to find Plan B, or to deal with the situations without family breakdowns. It’s probably taken about ten of us to help this time, even my younger kids giving comfort and reassurance to their nieces and nephews.

Carolina is having a high-risk pregnancy and is going to need a great deal more help. Cruelly once rejected by her birth family, she’s learned to trust our family to be there for her. She’s the one who’s always been such a giver to everyone, now she’s allowing us, her family, to give back to her; teaching everyone here about love, family, and helping others.