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Certainly this endangered tradition is something worth saving. “The family dinner gives family members a chance to reconnect with each other after a long day at school or work,” notes William Doherty, professor of family social science. “It helps everyone feel closer and lets children know their parents are interested in what’s going on with them.”
This statistic is shocking to me. Yet I’ve heard my kid’s friends say that they rarely eat a sit-down dinner with their family, that no one has time.
I beg to differ. They all have time to eat, why not make it a priority to eat together? When I worked in the school system for 25 years I surely did not feel like coming home and cooking supper, but life isn’t about what I feel like doing, I make myself do what I don’t feel like doing, knowing internally that I’ll be glad I did so.
Feeding several dozen people each night isn’t that hard anyway. I added sibling groups slowly over the years, doubling and tripling my recipes, fine-tuning my shopping and gardening, decades later it runs smoothly.
We have three large kitchen tables and we sit down to eat what I’ve cooked from scratch, it’s cheaper and more nutritious. Do I want to hurry through supper so I can plop my rear end on the sofa and watch TV? No, if that were the case, I would not have willingly adopted so many children.
I don’t like fast food anyway, it’s not good for you, it costs too much, and it goes against my grain in a big way as I continuously strive for simplicity. I don’t want to contribute to the landfill with carryout containers, I don’t want to spend a couple hundred percent mark-up on food, and I’d rather teach my children a healthier way to live.
Our dinners aren’t very quiet. Everyone seems to constantly have something to say. They squabble at times, their table manners are a constant battle and a never ending learning process, and I serve milk, not sodas; always conscientious that everyone get enough protein.
Everyone also must rinse their plate, cup and silverware and put it in the dishwasher; someone is assigned to sweep and clean counters and tables while I wash the pots and pans. This isn’t a restaurant, you eat what is served, and yes, of course, food issues always emerge with new kids in the family.
“You can’t make me eat,” or “I’m not hungry” or whatever. I rarely argue about it, I just continue to serve meals and eventually everyone comes around. Years later these same meals become comfort foods, representing what they never had before they became part of a family.
It represents one more layer of security and stability, two major benchmarks here.
Cindy, I would be very grateful if you could take a few moments to let us know what meals your family enjoys! My family would like more vegetarian meals, but since we aren’t huge salad or veggie eaters (we tend to stick to the “basics”- broccoli, caul, beans, etc), I’m clueless.
Thank you,
Nicole
Nicole, From 11-20-06 of my other blog I wrote,”cook 1) Cuban black beans and brown rice, 2)red beans, corn and brown rice, 3)veggie spaghetti, 4)three cheese lasagna, 5) pasta bar or potato bar, 6) barley, rice and alphabet pasta, 7) fish chowder (rarely), 8)lentils, 9) a black eyed pea dish, 10) different vegetable casseroles, 11) upside down night (French toast), 12) cheese enchilladas, 13) spinach or broccoli quiche, 14) a soybean loaf, or our favorite 12 pounds of pinto beans that I then mash into refries and serve as tacos, nachos, or burritos. I know a couple of other dishes but not that many really.”
How did I miss that? I read your other blog pretty regularly.
What do you put out for “pasta bar”?
Thank you!
Nicole
EVERYTHING on the pasta bar