My 20 year old son just lost his job this morning. He had brutal hours, a 45 minute drive at 5 in the morning for a 6 a.m. shift, never home until after 5 each evening but it was a well paying job for a kid just out of high school.

This son has only been living with me for seven years, arriving at age 13, parentified and caring for his six younger siblings; he’d never really been a child at all. Now secure in his family here, he has emotionally progressed to about the age of seven. He’s short-sighted, often unable to understand the big pictures or many of the nuances of life.

We walk a tightrope, he and I. I’m still in the position of being a nagging mother, because he still lives with me and obviously needs guidance. He worked under a point system at work, it was a manufacturing plant, and if one earned so many points against oneself then one knew they’d be fired. It was inevitable, and self-sabotaging on his part somewhat. His boss had repeatedly warned him, as had I, yet he felt invincible, or like an inexperienced know-it-all, 20 year old who is clueless and not yet ready to accept responsibility.

He’s probably blown $12,000 this year on eating out, trendy clothes and stuff, with little to show other than a 13 year old paid-for car. No apartment, no savings, little progress in growing up as he’s fearful that it is a personal rejection from me…that I don’t want to be his mom anymore.

I do want to be his mom; I just don’t want him to be a child.

I’m bummed about it all in a big way, back to square one with a large baby it seems. In just two weeks I would have had all my kids in school, even my real baby will start Pre-K, allowing me six or so hours everyday to get the chores done and can all these tomatoes, but now I fear starting up the “you best get off your butt and get another job,” routine battles that I’ve fought for years. My 25 year old son has also been laid off, and my 21 year old son’s work hours have been reduced to a joke.

Y’all want fries with that? There’s a future for you.