Foster parents often deal with older children. Because it is the older children who are the one's that no one cares to adopt. Sometimes it can take a few years for an older child of a sibling group to be adopted. So the foster home is a very important
place in a child's life.

Our focus is to place the child one time and allow that child to bond and be stable for as long as possible. However many times it does not work out that way. For a numerous list of reasons a child can be moved from home to home.

As Foster Parents we must be able to say we will not get emotionally involved with the children and we must do our duty to help the child return home. Most of all we must follow the case plan. However many times because we are parents and it is only natural...we tend to love the children that come into our home.

So many times we must face the loss of a foster child in our long career of parenting. We will go through sorrow and we will grieve our loss when the child is moved. But, we will also try and focus on the best plan for the child. I know many foster parents who have a prayer list a mile long for the kids that have crossed their door steps.

In some ways each child will remain part of their extended family. For years to come you will cherish the phone calls, cards, letters, pictures or visits from the children who make it and search you out as they go on to make a life for themselves.

So we as foster parents have to ask...Do we love them? or love them not? How do you care for a child daily, help them with school work, take them to the doctor and to football practice or dental exams...and not have love for them?

I know as a mom if my child was taken from me that I would want the person taking care of my child to be good to them and to care for them as I would...while I am not able to be there. At the same time I may grieve that they are the ones loving my child and not me.

So it is a fine line that the foster parent walks when doing their job. A good foster parent finds the correct balance and they learn to love from afar and to guide the children toward what is the best case plan for them. Some foster parents go on to adopt if the children come up for TPR. (Termination of Parental Rights) Other times the children are moved to a pre adoptive home. It's all part of the job and the plan.

What do you think? Would you make a good foster parent? What qualities do you have to offer the children? We welcome your comments.